Smosh Quotes

21

Video: SHAYNE & DAMIEN'S KITTEN TROUBLE

Shayne - "Bethesda Game Studios presents..."

Damien - "Presents!"

Shayne - "*in a weird voice* Presents!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damien - "Warning: your nose is a bomb."

Shayne - "Wait, what?"

*nose explodes*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shayne - "At 12 years old, it's basically like circumcision, but they just...replace the head with a kitty in a box!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shayne - "Have you watched The Mentalist? So, okay, he's not psychic, he's just very-"

Damien - "But, he reads their faces!"

Shayne - "He's a face-reader..."

Damien - "Have you seen Two Broke Girls? They have a job, but they don't have money!"

Shayne - "But they're both broke! One's tall and skinny, the other one's short and got big boobs!"

Damien - "I can't wait to see that dynamic!"

Shayne - "How did they get along?"

Damien - "Whoops!"

Shayne - "Oh, have you watched Black-ish? I don't like Black-ish."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damien - "I want him to be so dead inside, that he's just like: 'Hi, I'm here from Vault-....I'm here from Vault Tech, and I'm here to-'"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damien - "They also do this thing where, I'll say it again, they show you their butthole, and I don't know why...do you guys wanna see what that looks like?"

"Enhance."

*enhances*

Shayne - "That's...that's real rough. That's real rough."

Damien - "I made Shayne sad! I made Mark sad! Tim is real sad!"

Shayne - "Tim took off his glasses, so he didn't have to see that..."

Damien - "Tim, you're a golden boy, we love you, Tim! MARK, YOU COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO!"

AUTHENTIC FOOTAGE OF MARK RAUB 

"I have the power of God and anime on my side! AHHHHHHH!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damien - "'They call me Mr. Scrotes!...I'm sorry, where are my manners? Scrotum.'"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damien - "When I was in my first apartment, I, every once and a while at night, would just start to hear, and I'm sorry, it would be like: 'UH! UHH! UHHHHH!' And I was like 'Damn, my neighbor that lives next to me is...getting hers! Like, great!' 
So eventually, one night, I hear it again, and I realize it's not coming through my wall, I hear it- almost like it's coming from outside, and I open up my kitchen window, and the moment I do, a cat, literally turns, and make eye contact with me, and goes: 'OH! OOH-WOAHHHH!'"

Shayne - "That was that cat auditioning for The Voice! OOH-WOAH! OOH-WOAHHH!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shayne - "Thanks for the memories, thanks for the *cat noise*"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shayne - "Yeah, did the cats fuck, or did the human bodies fuck?"

Damien - "D- OOOOHHHHHH!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damien - "Hilary Clinton wants all homosexual military, how's that going to affect my family? Paid for by people against Hilary Clinton."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shayne - "What's a cat's favorite type of candy bar? Meow-ounds."

Damien - "What's a cat's favorite button on a remote control? Paws."
"What does a cat do with an egg before it's ready for...being baked in? Whisker."
"What do baby cats drink out of? Cat nips."

.....

Damien - "That means these cats like to play with STRING theory!"

Shayne - "I quit. I quit the show. I quit this show."

Damien - "Just litter make her jokes!"

....

Damien - "What? Does this taste like junk food and you were expecting a Fancy Feast?...you better watch your Fresh Step."

Shayne -"How do you know all of these cat terms!?"
"Yeah, that one wasn't too Tabby!"

Damien - "Okay, we're done! If we want another episode of the show, there's no way!"

Shayne - "I think we're getting fired from Smosh now..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, I think you are too...

This is my favorite episode of the Damien and Shayne Show by far. It kills me EVERY TIME I watch it.

QUOTES ARE BACK!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!

see you later. ✌

🌈❤💛💚💙💜🌈