My Journey To Find ME

15) I'm There For You

Today I'm blank. I don't know why I picked up my pen to write. May be because somewhere deep in my mind I had a feeling that may be my brain would make me write what I'm feeling. What is this confusion in my mind and why !

There are times when I feel that I know this person really well. To the extent when I think that I know what he/she is feeling when even they don't. But I'm proved wrong every single time...

The clumsiness within me can be best understood by knowing that for the first time since I started this journey of finding me by writing, I tore off a page that I started writing a few heartbeats ago.

I wish we had an information booklet about ourselves that would include how to deal with any problem we might face while growing up.

This would make understanding people a hell lot easier, just read their information booklet and you two are good to go. Now that nothing like that exists, my mind is at war all again.

How are we supposed to know what a person really close to us wants from us. We surely want to help them in any way they want but for that to happen they should be clear about their problem! To see this war within that special one's mind is disheartening. Seeing that my mind screams out loud, " I want to help you! I want you to talk to me! But how can I be persistent about it when you don't want to speak about it. This is fucking crazy! I mean I have to think about not irritating you and at the same time helping you. I don't want this relation between us to dry! "

We all have one person in out life for whom we can go to any extent to help in any way possible, and all we need in return is the same amount of love and respect.

Some people lack the sight of realizing the good or bad motives behind a persons actions. When you know you lack that sight, why not consider the opinion of a person who is really close to you and you trust them even with your life! But no, you name it jealousy and you are done.

At times I get really tired of thinking about the ways in which I can keep the people with bad motives and stagnant ideology at bay from my loved ones who lack the 'Sight'. But I guess being tired doesn't stop me. Cause I know if I have these loved ones in my life, I'm already blessed and now its my turn to do justice to them. And while doing so, I don't care what type of difficulties I would have to face.

Looking at me, one might think of me as a nerd with no back bone. But if you ever lay eyes on my loved ones, I'll make sure that's the last time you are able to see. And I mean it.