Tessa stared out the window of her new apartment in New York, it was not techically new since she had lived there before, during that time when she had a sudden wanderlust and moved from country to country, getting the best out of her immortality. She's back now, because Magnus said she was needed for something important. And he was important to her, Magnus, he is one of her old friends who knew about her past. But she did not see it coming, she did not expect to be involved with something that she had tried to avoid.
It hurt, that's what she remembered clearly. Seeing your own children die and then your grandchildren and so on. Every time it feels like the mourning never ends. So she went away. And now this, Jace Herondale. Herondale.
She closed her eyes and saw him, his black hair as he entered that room and rescued her from the magister. The way he walks when he's angry, his wide eyes that were so full of anguish at that attic and then a different version, his wrinkled eyes squinting in laughter at James and Lucie fighting about something stupid, still, they were as bright as anyone else'. The way his hand held her while they say their vows, looking intently at each other's eyes and that last time they held hands, when Will was on his bed and then she slowly felt him loosening his grip until it was lifeless. The man she love laid infront of her, still as a statue and right at that moment it felt so hard to accept that he will never look at her again, he can never talk to her again.
Life is a book, and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read. I would read them together with you, as many as I can, before I die...
They're not enough, Will Herondale. No matter how many books we read it was still not enough because I wanted you to be with me forever.
Tessa was awakened from her thoughts by a knock on the door. She opened the door and found Jem, soaked in the rain and carrying three grocery bags. "It's like the rain is following me everywhere I go, remind me to search for a place to live where we can get a little tan." He said as he entered the apartment and put the bags down the kitchen table. "Perhaps, Hawaii?" he said.
Tessa raised her eyebrows "And hear you complain about the women wearing bikinis everyday?"
"Oh." he said realizing that she's probably right.
"Don't you like New York?"
"I do, actually." he said as he walked to her. "But I was thinking about you... about the thing with Jace." he brushed away a stray of hair from Tessa's face and held her in an embrace while looking in her eyes for her reaction.
"It's okay." She said, staring at him, willing him to believe her. "I can't run away from them forever and I want to help. It's the least I could do for leaving and..."
"Hey." Jem said while holding her hand "You needed to. Don't hate yourself for leaving. You're immortal but your heart is as human as it can get, it breaks. We might not die physically but we can, emotionally. And I don't want that to happen to you."
It was a miracle, Tessa thought, to have Jem right here, right now. She had accepted a life all alone for eternity but there was Jem, a man who loves her and a man she loves. The pain of Will's passing was not cured by Jem being by her side but it did cure the sadness she felt when she thought he was also gone forever. It was like two heavy weights on both her hands and the other one has been lifted off, but the weight on the other remains the same and heavier each passing day.
The phone rang then and she slowly went inside to answer it.
"Hello?" she said while Jem sat by the kitchen counter staring at her.
"Tessa? I'm sorry about last time." It was Magnus.
"It's okay, Magnus. I just wish you would've warned me."
"I know, I know. I'm... so sorry." he sounded sad. Probably remembering Will. "Tessa, I need to ask you something..."
"What is it?" She was fiddling with the telephone cord and watching Jem who was then occupied with getting the groceries out of the bag.
"Clary had this dream about Jace and all she remembers clearly is that he's in..."
"In what?" she said, her eyebrows furrowed.
"In London. In that bridge you once told me about... The Black-"
"The Blackfriars Bridge" Tessa finished and Jem looked up at her, trying hard to read her expression from what Magnus was saying.
"Yes. Jace... Jace could be at the Blackfriars bridge and we can't think of any reason why."
