The Girl in the Mirror (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 70

Chapter 70

Harry’s POV

I lay awake in bed with thoughts rushing through my mind. I can’t sleep. I have tried desperately to sleep but my mind won’t switch off. The longer I lay awake the worse everything seems and the worse I feel about everything. Sienna sleeps soundly beside me and I wish I could be as content as she seems right now. It just feels different, I suppose I feel different about everything. I feel different about us. I can’t describe it, I can’t explain why this doesn’t feel right but I just know deep down that it doesn’t. I know I shouldn’t think it but it feels like when I was a child and I desperately wanted a toy. I wanted a toy and I had to wait until Christmas for it. You’d build up loads of anticipation and excitement for it and then you get it but it’s a let-down. I’d get the present on Christmas day and it wouldn’t be as good as I thought it would be. I’m not saying she isn’t good enough because she is but it doesn’t feel as good as I thought it would.

It doesn’t help that I can’t stop thinking about Daisy. She is consuming my thoughts when I should be thinking of Sienna. Daisy seemed to just get me, we just clicked and she knew how to make me feel good. She was always good to me and I wish I appreciated her when she was mine. I wish I had realised how genuine she was at the time. I can’t help worrying that Sienna can’t match up to what Daisy gave me. I mean being with Sienna before was constant fights and arguments. I didn’t have that with Daisy, we didn’t fight and I don’t want to go back to constant fights. Me and Sienna went through so much together, stuff that usual couples would have been together for years first before experiencing. I mean we’re divorced already and we have split up more times than I can even care to count. We have never had a normal relationship but then again I’m not normal and neither is she. The fame and attention that surrounds us will mean we can never be normal. We will never be able to escape the spotlight and I know this time around it will be more intense.

I look down at my hand and I can make out in the dark her own small hand that holds mine tightly. She hasn’t loosened her grip even though she has been asleep for hours. It’s like she is afraid of us being apart, like she is afraid I am going to leave her whilst she sleeps. I like having her close again but I already feel like I need some time apart to clear my head. I gently pull my hand from hers and I carefully sit up. I wait a moment and I am relieved that she doesn’t wake up. I stay sat watching her for a minute and I wish I could appreciate her more. I wish I could appreciate us being back on track but I’m just not sure how I feel anymore. I know I love her, I’m just not sure if love is enough to make us work. I slowly stand up and I pick up my phone from my bedside table. I quietly creep out of the bedroom and I make my way down my stairs. I walk into my living room which is in a state but I don’t care how it looks. It can stay a mess for all I care. I am pleased when I see a half smoked joint left on my coffee table. Thank you Nick! I pick the joint up and I take a seat on my sofa. I light the joint and I slowly start to smoke it. I start to relax slightly as I enjoy the weed taking over my body. Today has been a whirlwind and I can’t wait for it to end. I unlock my phone and I smirk as I see a text from Daisy. I open it and my smirk grows as I see the text message.

‘Look what you’re missing x’

The text reads and I click on the picture she has sent me. My eyes open widely as I take in the image that shows Daisy stark bollock naked! I laugh lightly to myself in disbelief as I admire her beautiful body. I know I shouldn’t be looking at this picture but what choice do I have? She sent it to me and it would be rude not to look. I shouldn’t encourage Daisy because were over but I enjoy the attention she offers to me. I like the fact that she still wants me. She makes me feel like a man, she makes me feel like an equal which isn’t something I have felt before. I know Sienna would be raging if she saw the picture Daisy has sent me but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. I move the picture into a folder on my phone because that’s definitely one I am going to look at again. I imagine Daisy will be asleep now but I text her back regardless because I don’t want her to think I didn’t appreciate the picture.