The Girl in the Mirror (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Sienna’s POV

I wake up and I realise its morning. What the hell happened last tonight? I groan as I open my eyes fully and I sit up not recognising the room I am in. I look around and I am relieved that there is nobody in bed beside me. I can’t remember hardly anything from last night. I remember Harry storming out of the club and pretty much everything after that is a blur. I lift the duvet up and I am relieved that I am wearing the same clothes as last night. My body is aching and my head is banging from my drugs and alcohol come down. I should be used to this feeling by now but I’m not.

I get out of bed and I search for my boots but they are nowhere to found. I walk out of the bedroom and I see Mark asleep on the sofa in just his jeans. I am relieved that I ended up in Mark’s suite because I know he wouldn’t take advantage of me. He is snoring loudly and it only makes my head hurt more. I curse myself for spending the night here. I should have gone back to my own suite and I pray nobody saw me go into his suite last night. I continue to search the suite trying to find my boots but I give up as I can’t find them. I see my handbag and I grab that and I quietly creep out of the suite. The last thing I want is for Mark to wake up whilst I am there and for us to discuss what happened last night.

I make my way back to my room quickly. I reach the lift and I wait anxiously for the doors to open. The lift reaches the floor and I quickly get inside and I press the button for my floor. I wait for the lift to stop at my floor and I stare at myself in the mirror on the lift wall. My hair is all over the place and my makeup is smudged all over my face. I look a mess and I pray nobody sees me going back to my suite. I feel like I am making the walk of shame without the sex but I know if anyone sees me they will think I have had sex. The lift reaches my floor and I stumble down to my suite. I walk down the corridor and I see Harry walking towards me. I feel sick. Could my luck get any worse? It’s just my luck that out of everyone in this hotel that it has to be him walking up the corridor at the same time as me. I see the fury on his face as he takes in my appearance. I know it looks bad but I haven’t done anything wrong for a change.

It feels like we are walking towards each other in slow motions. As we reach each other I see his eyes are red and bloodshot. Has he been crying or is he just hung-over? He looks away from me and he walks straight past me without saying a word. I instinctively turn and grab his arm to stop from. "Harry" I croak. He turns to face me "What?" he asks angrily. "Talk to me" I plead. "What do you want me to say?" he asks hurt "Do you want me to ask if you fucked Mark last night?" I can see the pain in his eyes. I feel guilty as I realise how much I have upset him. "I didn't" I say my voice going high-pitched in defence. "Who did you fuck then?" he asks looking me up and down "Because you didn't sleep in your own room last night" he states. "I didn't fuck anyone" I claim "I slept in Mark's room but nothing happened we didn't even stay in the same room" I explain. "I don't even care" he says "I can't keep doing this" he states. I can’t help rolling my eyes at him because I am sick of having the same conversation with him. "I mean it Sienna I'm not fucking about anymore" he snaps "I want nothing to do with you" he says. I can tell he means every word and he pulls his arm out of my grasp. I stand helplessly as he storms away from me. I don't chase after him or ask him to change his mind I just watch as he walks out of my view. I make my way back to my suite feeling empty, he's given up and so have I.

Harry’s POV

I slam the door shut behind me in anger. I walk further into my suite and I boot my suitcase hard making it fly cross my room. How can she be so blatantly disrespectful all the time? I don’t understand how she can show such love and devotion one minute and then the next be off with some other bloke. I’m sick of crying tears over her. I’m sick of laying in bed awake at night wondering what she is doing or who she is doing whilst I wait for her to decide she wants me again. I run my hand through my hair in almost desperation as I pace my suite doing everything I can not to cry. I don’t want to cry anymore. I can't keep living like this. It’s making me ill, she is making me ill. She has no regard for my feelings. It’s all just a game for her and I’m sick and tired of it. I’m tired of waiting for her to show me love.

I sit down on the sofa trying to calm down. I haven’t been this worked up for a while and I know I need to relax. I know getting this angry doesn’t help anyone. I love her so much but we rarely tell each other we do. I can only remember her saying it to me a handful of times and every time she does its only when she is saying she loves me too. Does she love me at all? Does she just say it to me because I say it first? I hate how insecure she makes me and how she makes me question every single thing she does or says. I know love isn’t meant to be like this. Love is meant to be equal but our love isn’t. It’s one sided. I can’t sit here anymore thinking about it and wasting any more time. I need to get help from some else, I need reinforcement. I head to Niall’s suite. I’m going to need his help if I am going to finish it.

Sienna’s POV

I pack my suitcase reluctantly because it’s the last thing I can be bothered to do. I can’t believe I only have one more show in New York tonight and then I have to leave for Boston. I have a few dates booked for the tour in Boston then it’s off somewhere else. I hate packing and travelling around. I have just got use to New York but as always I’m off somewhere else. I never get use to one place because I am always travelling around. I haven’t heard anything from Harry today and I haven’t tried to contact him either. I’m fed up of our constant making and breaking up. I want to be with him but I can’t keep fighting a losing battle.

I hear a knock on my door and I get up and make my way to the door. I open it and I’m surprised to see Niall smiling back at me. "Hi can I come in?" he asks. I nod and I allow him to walk inside. I have always liked Niall he is the friendliest out of all the other One Direction boys. He’s always happy and up for having a laugh which is refreshing to be around. He sits down on the arm of one of my chairs "You all packed?" he asks. I’m not in the mood for small talk but I can't be horrible to Niall he is too nice. "No it's stressing me out" I state nodding to the bedroom. Niall gets up and walks to the door and he chuckles as he looks at all my clothes thrown everywhere. "Do you want some help?" he asks. I can’t help nodding. I do need help and I will take the chance of any help I can get. I can’t help being surprised that he is willing to help me after all the trouble I have caused. It’s strange to think that some people are just nice and kind.

I walk into the bedroom and Niall helps me fold all of my clothes. We chat about his family and about Ireland. I am happy to listen to everything he has to say because he is so genuine. It takes us an hour to pack everything and I am so appreciative of his help. "Thanks" I smile at him once we are done. We walk into the living area. "No problem" he says "I did come for something" he chuckles. "Sorry" I smile realising I lumbered him into helping me with my packing when he had actually wanted something. "No problem I was happy to help" he says "I came to collect Harry's stuff, he said he left some clothes and toiletries here" he says awkwardly. My heart sinks and I am sick of feeling like this. "Ok" I say sadly. I quickly go around my suite and I gather anything I can find of Harry’s. I feel sad as I pick up his stuff and I pass them to Niall. This is it, it’s over. "If there is anything else I'll let you know if that's ok?" I ask him. It’s clear that Harry doesn’t want anything to do with me and I won’t force him to talk to me. He nods "Of course" he smiles heading to the door "Sienna" he says turning around "He really does love you ya know" he says kindly. I bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from crying and I smile lightly at him. He walks out of my suite and he shuts the door behind me. I look around my suite recalling the many memories I have shared with Harry here. I feel sad knowing we won’t make any more memories together. I’m leaving New York and I’m leaving Harry and I here too.

Harry’s POV

I watch as the door to my suite opens and Niall walks inside carrying an armful of my stuff. I get up and I take the items from him. I smile gratefully at Niall for all of his help. I place the items down on the sofa and I sit down next to it all. "Did she say anything?" I ask. I want to hear that she begged for Niall to get me to change my mind but a part of me wants her to of told Niall it is over for her too. I’m so confused and I have no idea what I want. I want her but I don’t want everything that comes with wanting her. He shakes his head "No she didn't say anything" he says sitting down on the opposite sofa from me. She must have said something! "You were gone for ages though" I question. "I helped her pack her suitcases she was all over the place" he says. I nod knowing how untidy she is and how helpful Niall can be.

I stare at the pile of things Niall has brought back and something shiny catches my eye. I move a t-shirt out of the way and I see Sienna’s wedding ring place on top of a pair of my jeans. I pick the ring up and I hold it between my fingers and I stare at it intently. "Is that your wedding ring?" Niall asks me as he stares at the ring in my hand. I shake my head "No" I say quietly "It's hers" I say sadly. He looks away from me and he doesn’t say anything. What can he say? I place the ring in my pocket and I try my best to compose myself. I have to remember I am doing this for my own sanity. If I don’t she will destroy me.