Save Me (Halren)

25

Normani's POV
I need to know what's gotten Dinah so down lately, I want to know because it's been worrying me and the girls. So I've decided I'll talk to her today, now I just need to find her.

"Ally!" Lauren comes in with a sleepy Ashley in her arms and a plate balancing on Ashley's stomach. It's only something Lauren would think of.

"Yeah, what?" Ally asks, walking into the room.

"Here's my plate, thanks for breakfast, and also I guess I'll just go put this one in bed. Anything you wanted to do today?" She takes the plate from her band member and nods.

"How about we go shopping today, but I guess a little later since it looks like Ashley didn't get much sleep last night." Lauren nods and takes Ash to the back of the bus. I sigh, looking around more until realizing Dinah's not on the bus. I decide to just go and do my own thing so I make my way to the back of the bus, running into Lauren in the process.

"Hey, have you seen Dinah this morning?" I ask. She thinks about it for a second then shakes her head.

"I can't say I have, sorry. Is she not on the bus?" She responds. I shake my head.

"No, and I wanted to talk to her. I have no idea where she could be." I say. Maybe she went out for a walk or something but I don't know why she would. I let out a sigh and decide to text her, hopefully she'll answer.

Lauren's POV
Did I do something wrong? Am I doing something wrong? If so, what is it that I'm doing wrong? I don't want Ashley doing this to her self. It's not good, it's dangerous. I also hope I wasn't the whole cause of it but it seemed she had it before she came on tour with us. Still. Does she even know what she's doing to her self? I hate the media because of this. I can't be sure it's the media but from what I've seen about her on there, it has to be the media doing this.

I decide there's nothing else for me to do and I want to be with my girlfriend. I go back to our bunk and stand there for a minute, staring at her small, fragile, figure and taking in what the media has the power to do.

Before Ashley came into my life, I never realised the full effect of the media. I didn't think I would ever have to deal with this. I didn't think I would ever have to help a person who meant so much to me with an eating disorder. I also can't forget about her anxiety disorder along with depression.

The media has a lot of power against us. It has the power to make us feel useless, worthless, not good enough...

It has the power to kill and that scares me the most. The thought of I could lose her at any moment, was a thought I never would've imagined having. I don't want to lose my one and only, my babygirl. She needs to live an I'll make sure that happens.

I sigh, as I go through my long thought process then climb into bed beside her. I get comfortable and wrap my arms around her waist. Instinctively, Ashley moves closer to me and snuggles up against my body, causing a small smile to appear on my face. I just want her to be okay. I don't even know when this started, maybe I'll have a talk with her when she wakes up or later tonight. Tonight would probably be better because Ally wants to go shopping later and I want Ashley to enjoy the day shopping. She needs a day where she's not worrying about everything that's going on.

............

"Lauren, wake up. You're laying on my hair." I heard my girlfriend say from beside me. I'm already awake so I shift my body a bit and sit up.

"I was already awake, but I didn't realize so sorry about that." I say. She shakes her head and sits up beside me.

"It's fine." We fall silent for a while, just looking into each other's eyes, not sure what to say. I can tell she's still tired. "Are we doing anything today? And how long was I asleep?" She asks, breaking through the comfortable silence between us.

"Ally wants to go shopping so we decided that all of us can go." I reply. For a second, I see a glimpse of worry in her eyes but then it goes back to normal. I decide to not think much of it. She'd tell me if it's something to be concerned about. "Also, you were only asleep for about an hour or not even."

"Oh, I'm still so tired." Ashley says.

"Do you wanna stay back today?" I ask her, hoping that she'll still come along with us because now that I know what's going on, I don't want to be away from her. To my luck, she shakes her head then answers.

"No, I'll come along. I want to be with you today anyways." I smile and she ends up reciprocating it. "I don't know... I just feel kind of weird today and it would help to have you by my side." She says, looking at me with her sweet chocolate brown eyes. I grab her hand and intertwine our fingers.

"Are you sure? I can stay back if you want?" I tell her. She thinks about it for a second but then shakes her head.

"No, no. It's fine."

"Okay. Do you want to tell me what the weird feeling is?" I question and she nods, leaning closer to me then falling into my embrace when I hold out my arms. I hold her close to my body as her head rests in the crook of my neck.

"Yeah um, I'm just having a lot of anxiety today and uh... I'm not really sure how to word this but... Something, that you did, is um..." Ashley trails off for a minute but I stay quiet, listening to what she's trying to say and not interrupting her. I really want to know what she means because what if I did cause this whole eating disorder? She starts to wave her hands around, trying to concentrate on what she needs to say. I can tell that she doesn't want to say the wrong thing but I'm not going to get mad if she says what I think she'll say.

"Take you time. I won't get upset if you don't word it right, I'll understand." I say in a soft voice and she nods, letting out a sigh.

"Okay, so something that... You did kind of, I don't know, it stressed me or scared me. I'm not really sure. I'm sorry." She explains. I hold her tighter against me and shake my head.

"Don't apologize for something you didn't do. I did it and I understand that- wait, what did I do?"

"Um..." She looks up at me with worried eyes and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. Why is she like this? What did I do wrong? Questions start flying through my head as I sit there, waiting for something to come out of her. I keep my eyes locked with hers as I wait for those questions in my head to be answered...

But they never were fully answered.

"T-This morning, outside, you- It really doesn't matter." She hops off my lap with a little bit of trouble since my arms were around her and due to her small size. I watch her as she leaves the bunk and goes to the front of the bus where all of the girls were chatting.

I still sat there for another ten minutes, piecing together what I had just heard. It happened earlier today, and she said it was outside...

Then, all of a sudden, it hits me. My eyes go wide and my hand covers my mouth in surprise.