tiny broken pieces and a faint memory of you

for only a brief moment-ninety nine

I have fun and laugh with brief excitement
the elated blood is running through my veins;
and it seems to never stop flowing.
I am having fun
I am enjoying with my actual self
but only for a brief moment.
I still try to have fun,
it is a fact.
but every time a laugh;
a flashback strikes me back
shattered mirrors
and broken hearts
a faint portrait of the person I once loved
shows up in my mind and beats me to death
and I once believed in reincarnation
but I won't be alive once more.
I am dead forevermore.
my heart already gave up on me
for it broke and shattered
according to my mind,
a faint portrait attached in a shattered mirror frame
elicited such powerful emotion
and once again, I am not sane.
for only a brief moment I cannot live,
it still is etched in my mind
I wanna die
but it all achingly does a rewind