Imperfectly Perfect (Michael Clifford Imagine)

Chapter 5

Michaels P.O.V

Though out the whole of this morning i couldn't stop thinking about that girl and how much of dick she must think i am. From what i seen on her book i think her name is Alex, but I'm not completely sure. Gosh! I'm such a screw up. There she was, this beautiful and innocent girl i had never seen before, and i had to go and be my normal self.

I really should start being nicer.

I cant believe i pushed her over. Yeah, i know it was an accident but i still feel horrible. I even followed her so i could apologize, but Trey seemed to have got a hold of her and for some reason that made me extremely angry.

I don't know what it was but there was something about her that seemed to draw my attention to her. Yeah she is one of the most prettiest girls I've ever seen in my life, but I'm normally not the one getting attached. Actually i guess i have a reputation for that very reason.

People know me as the heartbreaker. Apparently i lead girls on for sex and then dump them, which is completely not true. Maybe i do have sex a lot with a lot of different girls, but they don't seem to have a problem with it. Wow. Maybe i am a heartbreaker. Shit how did i turn out like this. Then it hit me.

The only problem i have with girls is commitment, which i blame my parents for, or partly for.

After my father left, my older brother left not so long after. He said he couldn't stand living at home any more, or act least not around mum. Ever since dad left mum had become a heavy drinker which i could tell was because she was depressed. Mum used to always be smiling and happy. She used to make an effort to the way she presented herself but now that person has gone. My mother is never around anymore, she is always caught up in work or drowning herself in alcohol. Which is why my older brother left, he hated seeing mum this way and so did i, but if i left who would she have?

I love my mother, but i don't think she realized that when dad left it pained me just as much as it pained her and then when John (older brother)  left it just made me feel alone.

I have my three goof balls but they don't really seem to understand what i am going through.

Ashton, Callum and Luke have always been like brothers to me, but no matter how much they try to help, it never seems to work. At least they try which i appreciate. If i didn't have them i don't know what i would. do.

Ever since my dad left i had become very closed. I would never talk about feelings and problems, that type of thing made me feel like i should be pitied, which was certainly not my cup of tea. I started to drink a lot, and go to a lot of parties. This is how i started to get into a lot of girls. I guess its the way i tried not to care about anything and it seemed to be work. I guess when I'm getting with a girl i take all my angry out on them, which for some reason girls love. That whole aggressive thing turns them on.  I know that I'm a horrible guy but I've lived this life style to long to know the difference anymore. The way girls would fall to my feet made me feel in control and i loved that feeling. Its not good but that's just me.

I'm a mess.

The bell rings, waking me up from my day dream.

Again i did absolutely nothing but think about that girl. This girl was taking up to much of my time. Why do i even care so much it was an accident. I was pretty rude though. I decided on apologizing to her next time i see her in English.

She was looking really good though.

Ahhh, what the hell, stop thinking about her.

Once i said goodbye to my mates, i seen Callum and Jennifer waiting for me at the door, this was our every day routine.