Fiction of Myself

Chapter Seventeen

Parker's P.O.V.

"Can you... help me?" Ken asked me as I slammed my notebook shut with tears running down his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I asked getting up from my chair.

"I have a dinner with my team tonight. It's like a banquet, but I can't do this. It's been so so long since I've eaten with people I'm close with. I don't want to deny eating, but what other choice do I have with this damn voice inside my head?" Ken asked me getting worked up.

"I've been in the same position as you are in just a couple days ago. They're your team mates and they should respect you no matter your portion size okay? If they say something just ignore them because remember they have no idea how not normal you actually are." I began seeing a slight nervous smile appear from his face.

He nodded and patted me on the shoulder in appreciation to talk to someone who was struggling as much as he was. 

"Do you have a voice too?" Ken asked helping me put things into my backpack.

"Yes, is it weird he gave himself a name?" I asked shyly.

"Not at all, mine has the name of Ed, short for EDNOS. It stands for eating disorder not otherwise specified. I'm a bit of a bulimic anorexic mess and sometimes I go crazy and eat everything in my house." He responded as he spotted the cookie in my backpack.

"You want it? I already had lunch so I'm not going to eat it any time soon." I lied putting a smile on my face.

"No, I'm fasting until I have dinner tonight with them." He said as we started to walk out of the classroom.

"How long have you been fasting for this time? A couple hours?" I asked keeping my voice low.

Ken looked guilty as he shook his head no.

"A day?"

Ken avoided eye contact with me as he shook his head no once more.

"Two days?" I was concerned at this point what he was going to say.

"Four days, eight hours and ten minutes." He said pulling out his phone timer as we rounded a corner.

I stopped in my tracks and just stared at him. He must be suffering from this dinner event much more than I thought he would.

Ken shook his head in anger with himself. "I shouldn't have ever commented what I did. I'm so sorry." He apologised once again.

"Why did you do it, if you're like me?" I asked placing my hands on his shoulders in comfort.

He looked uneasy as his feet tapped against the floor rapidly. His eyes glistened once again with blue ocean sparkling in them from the longing colour of his story which was sad and blue itself.

"I said you were stupid for having one because I didn't want you to be like me. No one else should have to go through this hell everyday and do what I did. It was stupid for you to be the boy with an ED because I remember my beginning stages and how I wish I would've known what was wrong or what other people thought of it. Because maybe, I wouldn't have fallen into this depressing hole of lies and malnutrition. I just thought if I called you stupid for having one maybe you'd back out of it. Only after I commented that I realised that no matter what I said or did, you were still going to do it and be this way. Because that's what I did to my parents. I thought maybe I could save you..." Ken said as tears cascaded from his eyes.

I pulled him into a hug of the empty hallway, I never knew a boy I had never personally met, been friends with, or knew at all would care so much about me. All because he wanted to find someone who was just like him. I felt my eyes sting as Ken and I stood in the corner of a hallway hugging and crying as if we just found our opposites from a different living standpoint, in the same school and community of boys with an eating disorder.