Love unleashed

Roshni's POV

Ok.....so finally here at THE MEDICAL COLLEGE.....i dnt really knw how to feel. I am elated and m sad because all my friend are no longer with me n m not very good at making friends too.Waiting for life to unfold before my eyes.

I have always been the shy types so its not a big deal for me to sit alone during the breaks but seeing one of my kind makes me comfortable.Her name is Suzie ....she was also sitting alone in the mess n saw me alone so she walked up and we introduced ourselves.She is just like me so we had the connection from the start only.

I love all of my subjects especially anatomy....to see wats unside a body is the ultimate end of curiosity.But it is all not so fun when u have a jerk in company.Nooo......Suzie is the best m talking about a guy Brian i dont knw wat his problem is he just appeared out of no where to tell me he was excited to b with me and all....omg what a stupid guy.He irritates the shit out of me that jerk.

Ok..so he was not that bad jerk.I mean he just confessed that he just doesnt know how to speak n that is probably right because it seemes his heart is not too dark.While in jeopardy to figure him out he asked me to be his date on fresher's night.I almost thought to refuse me but then the freshers was a date night and instead of going with some unknown guy it is really better to go with a known jerk and its not like I m dating him or something because of this act just an entry pass for us I guess.

If it is just an entry pass then why the hell am I so worked up to look my best.Yeah its not because of Brian but because u always want to prove that u can be surprising sometime.Yeah thats it 'the surprise element' really.Really???.....Oww...leave the crap i just need to get there on time.

Lolz....looking at his face was really the utmost joyful moment.He was almost gwaking at me that confirmed I looked good thank god.But sticking to my nature I almost scolded him for staring an what he replied was the funniest reason or explaination I have ever heard that he doesnt know how to behave....as if I dnt knw that till now.Anyways it was decided then that his silliness should be forgiven and we will be friends.Wowie....now i have a new friend that too a guy and damn famous guy so that is indeed a progress with my shyness.Guess m nt so much an introvert now.

I was all excited I had a new frined but wgat a waste Brian was not present at all and he never like never ever bunked the anat lecture and dont ask me how I know that.I was a bit worried so as soon as that proffessor left i called him and hearing his rough voice confirmed my suspicions about him being sick.I so much wanted to be there to help him afterall he was my friend and i should be with him but then he had loads of friends who am I but an addition to already long list.So i just told him what was taught and it was easy and all the reassurance stuff.

We really became great friends over days to come.The time was mostly spent bt chatting over whatsapp or facebook it was like a normal schedule now and it felt good to say my stuff to someone who did less drama.I mean when I told about my family to Suzie she was all emotional and sympathetic that made me feel like i was a small girl who needed a caretaker but to the same thing Brian was cool and instead of loathing about it gave me reassurances ane kept me in good mood.

I dont hate my parents they are obviously very proud of me and flaunt me but what I dislike is that they just push me too much.I thought that after getting into med school they will just stop taking interest in my studies and all but it didnt seem to keep them off.They expect their dearest Roshni to do very well Ohh...God I dont even want to spend my time thinking about the studies and the stress I have because of it.They dont tell me that they want a specific result from me instead they imply it nd trust me its even worse .

They say it as if that is their most wonderful dream I know they want me to remain happy afterall but they seem incapable to realise that it has held me in knots and i have drifted from being jolly and carefree to shy and stressed.Its ok I will to very very hard to give them whatever they ask...sorry imply to get.

Sometimes I just want to run away have a fling with a guy find love and dance and sing and go to someplace where no one knows me and I can act as stupidly as I want and just just enjoy.Ha...what a dream...but only a dream and can never be reality.

Even Brian had problems which I was surprised to hear it seems he wants to be a good guy I mean a geek a nerd whatever u wanna call it.That obviously proves that mountains seem greener on other side beacuse i have been there and its not a good place.

EXAMS..!!!

Exams are just round the corner and i m still confused about what i should read n what to skip.Just hope it gets over soon bcz here people are making me feel inferiority comolex.They are always with books and that too the big ones and they freak me out.

Taking some inspiration from Brian I have decide that I will not give these exams so much weightage that they rule my life.I mean why the hell should an exam give me months of saddness and depression nooo....... I am so over it so i will just enjoy.I love to study its nit that I will never study but i dont do it all the times.

Look honestly m not a good looking charming pretty hot babe m just a fat lousy girl so i have always thought that my marks and IQ is sumthing that brings me out makes people notice me. But now i have realised that hell with people I just dnt wanna get noticed.

It seems that in past few months talking with Brian I have become more of a free spirit. That maybe because he is not a person who expects me to b Ms.prim and poise . My family and friend have seen only my goody-two-shoes side so even if I wanted I could never b impulsive and carefree. I have held back a lot of times in my life but I m done holding back.

So back to exams........yeah i gave them and i dunno maybe i will flunk some....lets see.Whatever happens I m glad its just over and i can now just chill for few days.

A call.....

"I dunno mom the papers were not so bad but again this is MBBS its never too easy"

"I knw that sweetie but i knw u will do awesome i trust u that much"

"Arrgghhh.... mom no i wont because right now my focus is living life and not just scoring marks sry byee..."

-----------DISCONNECTED----------------

And then i got Brian z col asking if i had really agreed to go to that pub. I mean all these times he was telling me how i should just do what pleases me and then he is behaving like this. WTF.... and yea so today is roshni-turned-fireball day.Whateve....m surely going to d pub and m wearing a sexy number showing by curves even if it means dat it confirms i m fat but i prefrr curvy.

Pub.....nightmare

Yeah...the pub was super rocking as expected and i had a shot of tequilla too.But just one shot and it was all I needed . We girls that is me and suzan...damn did i not tell u suzan and trav were also wd us.....sry....anywaz we hit the dance floor and were enjoying when i heard a cheapster make a filthy comment on me...... I swear i could have knocked him down but i was stunned and schoked i just didnt knw what was happening and what to do.I mean some guy told me i looked hot but nooo....... i was far from being glad becz for all i knew he might just kidnap me and rape me and throw me....stop stop stop he is coming near near shit nope why the hell did i put up this dress.....no halt man plzz....i wanna run and u felt a hand slide down my waist and i felt calmer.....BRIAN ..... oww...holy mother thank god for brian.

I dont knw what he spoke and what exactly happened but i just cried a lot in his arms and it felt soothing. We somehow ended up in a bech at park and m at loss of thought how and when this happened but what i remember vividly is his lips soft and succulent on mine and both moving in sync luke some dance and it feelt so good so satisfying at the same so hungry......ALERT........STOP......NO KISSING.....what is happening u cnt kiss anyone just like that.......so then i just apologised and left.

I felt like a piece of shit I mean i kissed him gave him hopes....no i just decleared it was a mistake and that all is clear it wont happen again so then why am i crying.......It felt perfect so how can it be a mistake. Ok...grl here ia the thing that was u r first kiss so u dnt knw anything apart from what novels and movues say so let us just keep evrything normal and not complicate it ..... u and Brian are still the very friends u were and the kiss just didnt happen u dnt taste him on u r moutn u dnt feel a longing for his lips right now and u bloody dnt miss the feel of it.

OHH....GOD ...... HOPE IT BECOMES UNCOMPLICATED AND SIMPLE AND FRESH.