Dear Wonder Woman,
What would you do if I said I got kidnapped today?
Would you be impressed by my cunning wit to survive?
Or would you be surprised that my awesome noodle arm muscles were able to punch the weirdo in the face?
And before you start asking too many questions, yes, I was indeed able to prance away from a struggle today.
Yeah. I don't really want to admit it, but I was kidnapped by a crazy old man who looked all raggedy and had a long white beard.
I was walking down the street, trying to avoid the alley where I saw the flipp'in shadow man and all of a sudden I just felt this rough hand grab my mouth and drag me into the alley. I kicked and struggled while he kept saying some random mumbo-jumbo about how he was wizard or something. Crazy Nutter. I was finally able to knee him in the crown jewels and sock one to his face and then flee for my life.
But can you believe it?! I told you something was following me!
I guess I didn't realize that it was a crazy man following me instead.
But does that mean ghosts aren't real? But that's not important.
Anyway, I ran home and woke up Uncle from his nap and then I cowered in the closet like a real tough guy with my water gun and foam pirate sword ready for action.
Uncle Dudley called the police and they found the guy and arrested him.
But gosh darn, Wonder Woman, I was really sca-
I mean surprised.
I think I even peed myself a little.
I know you'll probably never read this because I'm just putting this in the shoe box, but if I'm going to write this to you, you beautiful goddess, I want you to know that you are hot. Because maybe I'll die tomorrow.
Sincerely,
William Batson
YOU ARE READING
Yours Truly
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