ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ ᴏɴᴇ || ｐｊｍ

-ｏｎｅ

jimin. 

it's been a long time. 

i don't really know why i'm writing to you.  especially in this way.  but you know i've always liked writing letters.  remember how that used to be our thing?  we thought it was so cool and meaningful.  

i don't know if these are really letters. they're more like diary entries.  

look at me, trying to write away my guilt. i write them like i'm talking to you. it's a funny thing. it's like i'm talking to you on paper but i can't bear the thought of you being here. i can't think about talking to you. because when i do, all i see is you looking away with a stone cold face, not wanting to see me. not wanting to listen. not caring about me anymore.

there are a lot of things i want to tell you but i don't really know what i want to say.  i guess i could start with congratulating you on all the success.  bangtan have really become a force to reckon with.  you've done it.  well done.

maybe you're still angry with me now. or maybe you've forgotten. i hope you have. it might be better that way.

i know you were angry with me. i know you were upset, confused. and i know the others were as well. they tried to find me and some of them did. i ignored some of them and for others, it was much worse. i know they didn't tell you. but...it was bad. very. 

jimin, you know i miss you, right? but i can't turn back time. i can't send these to you, can i?

am i selfish for writing this?

maybe i should. what if you reply? will i read them, do you think?

will you even read this? or will you throw this away into the trash, burn my words on your stove? or maybe you'll set them on fire, just like in I Need U?

it's funny, to think i was there when you filmed it. to think that a song and a mv could transcend into real life.

i'm sorry jimin. i'm so, so sorry.

it makes me smile to see you and the members laughing on your shows now. your smile, brighter than ever before, just like i remembered. the smile that lights up a room.

please, let it continue that way.

there's not much for me to write.  i don't think i can bring myself to say anything at the moment, so i'll just end this letter here.  lame, right?  i don't think i'll even send these.  i'm sorry.

bye bye chim chim.

kimbap