The Nanny [Jimmy Fallon]

34

*Disclaimer - this is a very long chapter. It is all from Jimmy's POV and focuses on his flashbacks/memories entwined with the present. Hope you enjoy*

--

I felt my stomach knotting as I fell down onto the sidewalk, leaning my broken body against the brick wall behind me. The hard brickwork was cold against my suited back, but I just felt numb. Completely numb.

I leant forward to rest my head in my hands, looking down at my black Tom Ford shoes which I'd got my assistant to buy only this morning. "The smartest, nicest ones you can find," I'd told her. "I don't give a shit about the price." It seemed ironic now, how quickly a mind can change.

Man, I need a fucking drink. I looked around my surroundings, realising I was only a couple of blocks from my apartment and there were plenty of bars around here. It would be so easy to go into one, find a dark corner and drink my sorrows away, drinking until the alcohol numbed my brain and I could no longer think any more. It was so tempting - I clambered up and started to walk along the street in the direction of the nearest bar, before coming to my senses and sinking back up against a wall.

"What the fuck have you done, Jimmy?" I whispered to myself, images of her blonde hair and hazel eyes appearing in front of me. She'd cut her hair, and I didn't even tell her that I liked it. She looked so beautiful - and I didn't even say anything. I just broke her heart.

I found myself walking - somewhere, anywhere, nowhere. And all my mind was on was her.

--

The first thing I noticed was her eyes - hazel, alluring, wide as she looked at me in surprise. Winnie was saying something, demanding my attention as I held her, but I could keep my eyes off this incredibly beautiful woman who was standing in front of me. Realising I'd said nothing to her yet, I smiled, hoping she wouldn't think I was a total doofus for standing there staring at her.

Why did Nancy have to do this? First Alyssa, and now this young woman who's name escaped me. It was like she was purposely trying to tempt me, as if to add another complication to our already doomed marriage. Things were already complicated enough with Lyssa - I didn't need another attractive nanny around to make things even harder.

"I'm Izzie," she said, a smile spreading across her face too. "The new nanny. It's good to meet you."

Izzie. When I was a kid, I knew a girl called Izzie who mostly went by Iz - this woman reminded me of her somehow. "I'm Jimmy. Great to meet you too, Iz," I beamed, before realising my error. "Is it okay if I call you Iz?"

We chatted for a short while longer, following her into Winnie's room. This girl seemed completely unfazed by who I was, however I was unsure if it was an act or not as there were moments where she looked a little nervous. I did notice how amazingly Winnie had taken to her, which was rare. Giving her a kiss on the head, I announced to Iz that I was going to check on Franny, knowing Alyssa would be in there to bombard me.

Instead, Alyssa's face lit up when I walked in, standing up and leaving behind a sleeping Franny to jump into my arms. I hugged her back reluctantly, my hands only slightly grazing over her waist as hers wrapped around my neck. I knew as soon as I pulled away she would try to kiss me, so I held onto her for longer than I usually would, glancing over at my sleeping daughter and feeling a long pang of guilt.

I wasn't a bad person - I really wasn't. I was just a weak man who allowed temptation to take ahold of me, choosing the cowards way out instead of accepting the fate of my failed marriage. It wasn't as simple as it should've been - Nance and I were entering our tenth year of marriage and being a divorcee in my 40's wasn't something that had crossed my mind when I said my vows. Plus, with my reputation already starting to fall apart, a divorce would surely hit the tabloids in the worst way. I was a coward, but a logical one.