How I Really Feel

New Year

I really do hate new year's eve. All the smoke and it's so loud. Fireworks scare me to death and those sparkly things that you hold. There was an incident two years ago during new year. I was playing with those sparky things with my cousins I was already wearing a face mask and there was so much smoke. I could feel it stinging my eyes and then I started tasting it. It tasted bitter and sour.

Right after I started coughing violently and I couldn't see properly. I dropped the sparky thing and tried to run into the house. When I got in I got a glass of water but when I tried to drink I couldn't because I kept coughing. My aunt noticed me and brought me to my mom where all the other adults were. By this time I was already crying cause I couldn't breathe. When they asked me what was wrong I couldn't explain. Fortunately my uncle is a doctor and he instantly figured out that I couldn't breathe.

He made me sit beside my mom and I just hugged her. My dad came in and when he saw me he started calling an ambulance. When I noticed I instantly said "no" over and over again. Yes I was still crying. My uncle gave me a paper bag and said to breathe into it. My cousins suddenly came in too and started asking what was wrong.

My mom still wanted to bring me to the hospital but when she noticed I started to calm down she asked me what I wanted to do. I stood up and went to my grandmother's room where I sat on her bed, still crying. It took me a while to breathe properly and stop crying.

I really do hate new year's eve. During this event people are celebrating another year I get it. But I just want time to stop. 2017 was an awful year for me but I'm just scared of what 2018 will bring.
I hate the noise so much. It's as if people just couldn't shut up. So many things are happening at once and I just want to stay out of it. It's too much.
I hate the smoke and fireworks. Smoke is suffocating. Fireworks are just plain scary. The loud "bang" is so surprising and scary. I really do hate it.

And I'm also writing this alone inside the house while everyone is outside using those sparky things I hate.