How I Really Feel

to my class

hey,

        I know summer started like 2 weeks ago(??) and this is a really late letter/message but I still wanted to write this anyway.
        at first I told myself not to write another letter for all of you because I already read another letter for you guys on our last day. but then I realized that out of the 37 people in my class that day, about 5 people actually listened. our adviser just kept on shouting whenever I talked and majority of you guys weren't even in the classroom. gonna be honest, that did hurt. but I get it.

       okay so first of all, the letter I wrote you guys that day took me 2 weeks to finish. oh, I meant the first part of that letter took me 2 weeks to write. that second part took me a little more than a week to finish. I was gonna write that again here but then I realized if it wasn't worth your time that day, I should write something else.

        thank you for everything. for voting for me even though you knew that I had never been a class officer before. thank you for trusting me enough to be your class president. I mean, all of the other class presidents in our batch were merit awardees and included in the top 20, I wasn't. thank you for the support you gave me for 10 months.

        I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for all the times I got annoyed at you guys and scolded you. please know that I did that only because in the future I don't want other people saying you're worthless because I know you're not. I'm sorry for not doing my best at times because I was tired. 

       this next part is me being very honest. I was very disappointed when I saw who my classmates were gonna be for that school year. and after I won presidency you guys continued to disappoint me again and again. that last day of school I was hoping for a great day, but as you know you guys disappointed me again. but the thing that you guys did that disappointed me the most was every single time you guys did something I already told you not to do. there were times that I got so annoyed because many of you would still play around even though you were supposed to be serious. there were also times that I wished for you guys to match my seriousness towards something but still, none of you did. many times I wanted to shout at all of you, call out all of the stupid things you've done, show you all the scars on my body I did because of you, tell you the story of the two breakdowns I had because of you just to see you guilty. there were so many times I wanted to see you guys guilty. but I never did any of those because I would always realize that there's a reason behind all of the things you did, so I just dealt with it all.

       but there were times you guys made me feel so happy and so proud. every single time a teacher would compliment us I felt so proud. every single time I saw you guys happy made me happy. that time our section had the most people (out of the 4 sections in our batch) to make it into top 20 I was so proud. every single time we watched an animated movie together I was so happy.

        you know as your class president all I ever wanted was to guide you guys to become the best versions of yourselves. if you took a closer look you'd realize I hardly ever scolded you guys about your grades and that I really put most of my focus on your behaviors, manners, and personalities. because that's what's gonna take you far in life, one day you're gonna realize your grades would mean hardly anything if you don't understand the concept of what you're doing. so you can forget how I look, forget my voice, forget everything about me. but please, don't forget all the lessons you learned from me.

      I really hope I helped each of you at least once throughout this school year. I'll always be here if you need me. health first before studies okay? you're always worth it. please don't forget that.

                                                                 yours truly, your class president