Chapter 11: Feelings

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By the time we got to the car, I was in hysterics.

"Aw baby its okay, take a deep breath everything will be okay

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"Aw baby its okay, take a deep breath everything will be okay." Cassie said soothingly.

Christian loaded up the car.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked alarmed.

"It was her first fight, she is not a violent girl she just feels bad that's all." Cass explained.

Christian just rolled his eyes.

The ride to his house was mostly quiet. With the sound of the radio and my occasional hiccups filling the awkward silence of the car.

When we got to a red light Christian turned to look me.

"Look, what happened back there-"

I put my hand up to stop him, "Please I'm fine it's not even about that but it's whatever I just want to get as far from there as possible can we do that please?"

He just nodded his head and kept driving.

Soon we pulled up to Cassandra's place.

I hopped out quickly helping her with her bags and we said our goodbyes.

She gave me a warm hug and whispered into my ear, " Everything will be fine KJ, we've always found a way."

A tear slips down my cheek as I watched my best friend leave once again.

I finally was able to turn myself around and drag myself back into the car where Christian and I were silent until a certain song came on the radio and he gave me this smirk.

I tried to hold a smile in as he began singing along and might I say in a voice that was not so great.

"Feelings, so deep in my feelings

No, this ain't really like me

Can't control my anxiety

Feeling, like I'm touching the ceiling

When I'm with you I can't breathe-" He nudged my shoulder gently, "Come on you know you wanna sing along."

He was right this is the one song that nobody could help but sing along to.

So together we sang,

"Boy, you do something to me

Ooh, now I'll never get over you until I find something new

That get me high like you do, yeah yeah

Ooh, now I'll never get over you until I find something new

That get me high like you do

Listen my to heart go ba-dum, boo'd up

Biddy-da-dum, boo'd up

Hear my heart go ba-dum, boo'd up

Biddy-da-dum it just won't stop, it go

Ba-dum, boo'd up

Biddy-da-dum, boo'd up

Hear my heart go ba-dum, boo'd up

Biddy-da-dum, it just won't stop, it gooooo."

We sang the entire song until I realize we had pulled into a gated parking lot.

"Welcome to your new home." Christian laughed nervously.

I was amazed at how beautiful the penthouses were.

"Wow, it looks like you're doing quite well for yourself," I whispered.

He shrugged, "I have been working hard for almost 10 years."

True. Sometimes I forget how much older he is.

After 30 minutes we had finished bringing all my stuff up to the apartment and moving everything into the room he was letting me stay in and gave me an apartment tour.

After 30 minutes we had finished bringing all my stuff up to the apartment and moving everything into the room he was letting me stay in and gave me an apartment tour

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Wrapping it up we decided to order some take-out Chinese food and chill for the rest of the night and watch Netflix. (Okay maybe take out the chill part)

We were watching a pretty interesting movie but for some reason, I just couldn't focus completely. I was distracted...

Maybe it's just everything going on or specifically the events of this morning.

I just couldn't help but feel guilty about how it all went down, how I could've been so blind and how I reacted-

"Alright spit it out right now," Christian said interrupting my thoughts yet again.

I gave him a questioning look.

He got up and sat down next to me, "Come on KJ I'm not stupid I know something is up, throughout the entire movie you've been distracted, so what's going on in that head of yours?

I looked down but not for long because he lifted my chin and looked into my eyes, my heartbeat began to beat at a quick pace and my breathing became heavier. Why do I feel like this?

Maybe it was the way he was gazing into my eyes.

Maybe it was the way he slightly licked his plump pink lips.

Maybe it was the way I imagined him-

Stop. I need to stop. I can't think of things like that.

I looked away and took a deep breath," Honestly I'm fine, I guess I'm just in shock about everything that happened and how it all happened too fast."

He nodded his head, "I get that and it's obvious that you are not fine so what are you really feeling KJ."

"Look I'm just not happy with how I reacted at all I've become the bully and I can't help but think maybe I deserved all of it."

"Nooo KJ you've got it all wrong you didn't deserve any of that and yes you could have reacted differently but hey it happens to the best of us, all you can do is move on and reflect take it and do better." He said encouragingly.

As a matter of fact, what he said encouraged me so much it gave me an idea that stuck with me the next couple of months.


Hey guys (to anyone who is still reading and/or cares) I am back!!! Yayy!? 🤗🤗😂 I'm back from my long and well needed break and I'm back with more interesting plots more characters as well as a message... I hope anyone reading is ready for what's to come because I am soooo excited 😩😩🤗🎉

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