Dear Lottie

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Leo?" My voice was all crackly and high pitched. I hated my tear voice, but Declan and Leo could always distinguish it. "Lottie? What's wrong?" I let a few more tears fall until I was able to tell him. "I love him, Leo, I love him." I hit my head off the door, forgetting for a second that I was on the phone. "Oh shit. Lottie, I'm on my way. Just hold on." I ended the call straight away and slowly made my way to the living room where I slotted Pirates Of The Caribbean into the DVD player. It was my favourite movie and was always guaranteed to make me feel better.

I got 15 minutes into the film when Leo invited himself in. Skye, Leo and Declan were all sort of family, so for them to barge in was normal. When I saw Leo look into the living room, I immediately stood up and greeted him with a hug. "What you going to do about it?" He questioned, pulling me away. "I don't know, I think I'll just wait for it to pass over." Leo sat down on the sofa slowly, as if he was processing his thoughts. "Right, well, what about in the meantime?" He looked up at me, waiting for a reply. At this point I discovered I really didn't know, so I sat down next to him and leaned back. "Fuck. Ummm...Nothing." I struggled getting out the answer as I didn't know how to reply and when I did, I still wasn't sure. "Look, Leo, I have a better chance of marrying Johnny Depp than I do with being with Declan."

"Uh, bull! Look at me and Kitty! Remember when I first asked her out? she rejected me. Look at us now. We love each other. There is nothing to say that you and Declan won't be together in the future!" I let out a deep sigh.

"Yes there is." I said this with so much certainty it scared me to think that we really would never be together. "What would that be?" Leo too, was filled with certainty, making me slightly angry. Doesn't he see that Declan is this tall, skinny brunette and i'm a short, chubby blonde? "Declan." Just as it slipped from my mouth Leo's phone rang, he answered it immediately.

"Hi Kitty...yeah, i'm just with Lottie...what? she needed help...fine, i'll be over in fifteen. Bye, Love you."I lowered my head, knowing that Leo had to go and I would be left alone. He saw my disappoint and lifted my chin. "You want to go out with me and Kitty?" I laughed a bit at this, rendering him confused. "Do you think third wheeling is really going to help with this?" He laughed with me for a few seconds then left, after give me a quick Leo hug.

As soon as the door slammed behind him, my thoughts turned to doughnuts. I craved doughnuts. So much. I pulled on my coat and my converse. Just as I was about to head out to Krispy Kremes, I pulled out my phone and called Jemma. Jem, for short. Jemma was yet another beauteous brunette, she was average height, average weight but the most important thing now was that she loved doughnuts just as much as i did. Plus the fact she was a really good friend to talk to, I could share anything with Jem and i'd know it was safe. "Hey Jemmy!" I shouted down the phone line, I was so excited, I mean, we were going to get frickin doughnuts! "Hey Lottie! How can I help you?"

"Um, would you like to come to Krispy Kremes with me? I need to talk to you and c'mon, doughnuts all the way!"

"Hells yeah!" Jem shouted back. "I'll be round in ten!"

Jemmy always made me smile, it was her attitude towards life.

Ten minutes later, Jem came in. "let's go!" I exclaimed, grasping the keys and gesturing towards the door. Jem left before me and we made our way to the end of the street to catch the bus. Steve, Laya and mum were at the Garden centre, so I thought it wise to call mum. "Hi Mum! Me and Jemmy are going to Krispy kreme and maybe do a little shopping, I've locked the door and I have my keys and phone, I have enough money, don't worry, and I'll be back before five. Is there anything you want from the shops?" I was actually quite surprised at how quickly I got that out. "Um, can you get some nice bread from Marksies and could you attempt to find some loom bands for Laya please?" Laya and I sat down every saturday night and made looms for hours on end. We had everything from metallic to bobbly and Mum had even just got us fluffy loom bands! "Ok, see you later, love you lots!"

The bus ride was pleasant enough and I even got to get Jem to listen to some of my favourite songs. We arrived at Krispy Kreme and I swear to satan, Jem was so unbelievably excited she may have screamed a little. Fangirling over doughnuts. Wow. When our turn to choose the sacred doughnuts finally came, Jem jumped straight in, without even letting the cashier ask what she wanted. "Um, the chocolate cookie crunch, the caramel crunch and...screw it, the caramel iced, please." I'm pretty sure the people behind us were genuinely concerned for Jem's enthusiasm for doughnuts. Then it was my turn. "Um, The raspberry chocolate truffle, the lemon meringue pie and considering I need to binge eat a certain image out of my mind, the apple pie. Please." Jem looked at me, concerned. She made her way towards a table, dragging me with her. As she sat me down, she asked me, alarmed "What image? Lottie, tell me what's wrong?" I sighed deeply, preparing myself to tell her, although i was comfortable releasing my deep secrets to Jem, I was always going to be uncomfortable with this one. "I love Declan." Jem sighed too, looking down. "Yeah, I know, it's quite obvious." This hurt slightly, I didn't know it was obvious, but then again I wouldn't be able to tell if something was obvious even it hit me in the face! "Really?" Just as I said this, a small plump, red head woman laid a tray of doughnuts in front of us. Surprisingly, Jemma didn't take her doughnuts, instead, she kept her focus on me. It took a lot to get her to take her focus off doughnuts. This said something about the situation i was in and i wasn't sure whether it was something to laugh about or be genuinely concerned about. Considering we had had about twenty seconds of silence, i reckoned i should say something. "Jemmy, falling in love with your best friend is bad, especially when you know he isn't interested in you at all. It sucks in two ways. One, because i've grown up with him and to love him would ruin the friendship. Two, he would never love me back!" I took my first doughnut and shoved it in my mouth, the realisation was hard to settle down that only doughnuts could help at this point. Still, Jemmy laid her hands off her doughnuts. "Lottie, i'm sure Declan won't let it ruin the friendship, so don't worry about that one. Apart from that i don't know what to do really, just sit tight. Maybe it's just a small crush, i don't know. All you have to know in these situations is that you have other friends you can talk to if you can't talk to Declan. Leo, Vi, Me, Skye, Bastian. We're all here for you." With that, she gave me a sweet smile and started on her first doughnut.

Once we finished the doughnuts, we went shopping around the MetroCentre. I had got myself a new jumper for the Autumn and a pink lipstick. Jemmy had got herself a notebook from paper chase and a blue fountain pen. Jemmy loves stationery as much as she loves doughnuts, paper chase was always on her shopping list! She once got a super cute bag from paper chase to go to France. It was pale blue and had white eiffel towers on it, it was adorable and she's used it so many times since!

The bus trip back was pleasant enough, although it started raining really badly and a garish crash of thunder was heard every 5 seconds followed by a vivid, alarming slash of lightning. "Lightning is so pretty!" Jem exclaimed half way through the trip. Her voice was so shrill it woke up an old man sitting five seats behind us. Although we both felt sorry for the old man, we sat in hysterics for minutes after. "I have to get off here." Muttered Jem, pulling herself over me. "See you tomorrow at school Lottie! Bye!" I smiled back and waved her goodbye and as the bus stuttered back down the road, I watched her bag swing left to right like a pendulum. Her Grandma lived down the road, so i was just able to see her go into the house before we turned a corner.

I walked from the bottom of my street to the house, in which i could hear Mum and Laya preparing tea. As i walked in I could sense the gratifying smell of spaghetti bolognese. "Hi honey!" Called mum from the kitchen. "Did you have a nice day with Jemma?" She pulled me into a warm hug and Laya desperately latched on too. "Ooh, you're so cold! Go get you're pyjamas on." I smiled and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek to which she smiled back. "I had a good day by the way." I quickly replied before shooting up the stairs to my bedroom. As i walked into my bedroom, i had to stop dead in my tracks to see that I left Declan's air bed out. It was still unmade and the covers were bundled up in a ball at the bottom. There was still a distinct dent in which he lay his head. I sighed and dropped my head, fighting back the tears. I loved Declan. So much. I knew it wasn't a crush because I wouldn't be crying if it wasn't a crush. Dammit. I was crying again! I speedily wiped my eyes and got into my pyjamas.