Dear Lottie

Eulogy ~ written by Leo Lovell

Everyone was sat looking pale faced and ill. I guess they had a good excuse; it was Lottie's funeral. Declan was alone, without Lilly, i'm assuming because he finally realised that it was painful for Lottie to see them together. Skye was with Corey, who I heard was the lead guitarist of "Whole Lotta Lottie". Skye was, for once, not in a stupid bra-let and she had made an effort to style her hair. Miss Sykes was sat, pouring in tears, with Laya on her lap, snuggling into her. Eva was sat next to me silent, which was new for Eva, but again, I guess she had a good reason. The only person I failed to see was Sam. From Lottie's description, he was tall and extremely dark haired; easy to see with the vivid blue eyes. Not today though. He wasn't there. It struck me suddenly that no one was at the podium, and that it was my turn to speak. I rose slowly and edged towards the small stage before pulling out the crumpled piece of paper from my suit's pocket.

"The death of Charlotte Rose Sykes, forgive me Lottie, was all too sudden for us. Her impetuosity and ultimate rashness took the better of her and for that, she is gone. However; if you had seen her the week leading up to this tragic event, you should understand now that she is comfortable where she is; with God. Her struggles she experienced knuckled down on her and unfortunately, they took her.

For years Lottie had been self harming, i'm sure a lot of you knew. But we had never expected her to actually kill herself. I couldn't bring myself to face the fact that her cold, lifeless body was actually lying in my very arms. Warm, red blood oozing from her fragile wrists and her rosy cheeks, stained with tears. I could not believe it. This was probably because Lottie was the sort of person who would conceal her emotions far too well, so well, in fact that none of us knew she would commit an act so cold. She loved to make people feel happy, she never failed to do so. Even her last smile seemed to speak "I love you Leo, everything is going to be okay." Everything is going to be okay. She's in a better, easier place now, where she doesn't have any emotions to hide, no blood to spill. No tears to cry. "

The speech was hard and as I stepped down from the podium I pulled myself to look into Lottie's casket and to say goodbye to her for the last time. Her face was pale, as the deceased face would be expected to be. Eva walked me back to my seat with little struggle. I felt like the life had been sucked out of me; i was missing that dominant, yet warm presence of the girl I had know for five years and been ever so close to.