Dear Lottie

Chapter 12

That night, me, Skye, Heidi, Oliver, Jemmy and Eva slept at Leo's. We huddled round the TV in the thinnest blankets we had. It was a 26 degrees celsius night, so the fact we watched the horror film, Frozen, was ironic. "Oh fuck...don't do that...Don't jump. Don't jump. Don't jump. Don't fucking jump...he jumped....and now both legs are broken. I fucking told you!" Yelled Eva. Eva was a small, dark haired girl with an even darker sense of humour, darker than mine and darker than Skye's. Although she was small and sometimes, adorable, she was badass. She wore black a lot and was into rock music, we shared our love of Guns 'n' Roses and Biffy Clyro. "Calm the hell down, Eva!" Shouted Leo in reply to her. Leo was sat next to me and his loud voice vibrated through the blankets and made me shake with fear. Eva obviously resisted his telling off as she flailed her arms towards the TV and stood up, angrily. "And now fucking wolves! You idiots!" She marched out of the living room and Leo quickly stood up after her, running to pull her down. "Where the fuck are you going?!" He growled. Eva looked terrified under his grip and her eyes widened. They were so dark, which went lovely with her hair and humour. "I'm going to get ice cream." She whispered, trembling under her breath. Leo's face dropped from a tight, furious expression to an excited, cool expression. His grip eased from her arm but she was frozen in the petrified position. "Oh, cool. Bring in 8 spoons?" He happily replied, walking back to the huddle. Eva nimbly ran to the kitchen to get away from the tension. "What's happening?" Questioned Leo, calmly. We all sat silent, watching the commotion on the screen until Jemmy bravely spoke up. "He was eaten by the wolves." She muttered, trying her best not to let her voice travel to Eva. She tried...and failed. "The idiots!" Eva shrieked from the kitchen, making sure we all heard. We all laughed at Eva's fit of anger and continued watching the movie.

"So, they both died?" Questioned Leo, blatantly confused. Skye looked to Leo, shocked. She sighed and threw her head back with frustration. I patted her arm and pulled her hair from her face to calm her down. "Yes, Leo, they both died." Surprisingly, Eva didn't shout, yell or shriek in return and she didn't commence with any sarcastic, witty comment. We all waited for it, but it never came, she just sat, eating the...last of the ice cream...she finished the ice cream. "Dammit, Eva!" whined Jemmy after seeing the empty ice cream tub in her hand. Eva took the last spoonful and realised everyone was looking at her with shock. "You can't blame her." Exclaimed Heidi. We struggled to accept her acceptance of this abominable betrayal. "It's ice cream, anyone to resist it deserves an OBE, she's only human." I laughed in reply to Heidi's hypothesis, but everyone else remained quiet with shock. That's until Eva squealed at everyone. "Can you please not?!" The huddled around her ruptured and everyone sat/fell back to their spots in laughter. Even Eva.

Three movies later and Jemmy, Skye and Leo had fallen asleep. The formation went Leo, Me, Jemmy, Skye Heidi, Eva and Oliver. I laid down carefully, trying not to wake Jemmy and Leo up. Jemmy cried herself to sleep after the shocking realisation that Eva had eaten all of the ice cream, whereas Leo and Skye naturally fell asleep. After watching three movies, I decided I should get some sleep too.

I rested my blonde head on the pillow carefully, trying to take in the awesomeness of the night. We always had such a laugh at Leo's, i'm surprised we didn't all wet ourselves! Heidi, Oli and Eva were upstairs in Leo's room playing Xbox, leaving Jemmy, Skye and Leo to sleep and me to try to sleep, although I was finding it unusually hard. Probably due to the thoughts I had scouring my mind and running through my head at 100mph. Of Declan, of ever finding love. Of Bastian. Maybe Bastian was right, maybe, I didn't have a chance with Declan, because he's into sporty, skinny, beautiful, smart girls. And i barely fit into all of them categories. I don't do sport, i'm not skinny, i'm alright I guess, but not beautiful, i was more nerdy than smart. I was never going to be with Declan, and a part of me accepted that. But, another part of me was repeatedly telling me that I love him, which I completely do, and that just worsens the situation. Before I knew it, I had cold, salty tears rolling down my cheek like declining roller coasters. I sniffled and gasped, in order to breathe but after that, I just clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes tightly together. I had been crying uncontrollably for no more than 30 seconds when I felt a large, warm hand on my shoulder. "Lotso, what's wrong?" Whispered Leo, trying his best not to wake up Jemmy and Skye. I attempted to whisper back, but it came out screechy and sounded horrible under my trembling breath. "I love him." Leo's hand moved down from my shoulder and he squeezed my clammy hand tightly, reassuring me that I was not alone. I felt his warm breath jump off the nape of my neck as he sighed deeply. "I know sweetie."