forget me (e.dolan) [discontinued]

one

note*** pay attention to dates because they may fluctuate, and also i apologize for my first attempt at writing like a 13 year old boy :-)
//

march 7, 2013

i didn't plan on writing in this thing ever because mom bought it for me when i was 12 and it's kind of lame. but i think i want to now because i met the prettiest girl today and i don't want to forget anything! i know this sounds strange but i swear it's love at first sight. grayson's teasing me about it but i'm serious. i'm 13 now anyway so i think i'm more mature and i don't know, i can just tell

she had long hair and it looked so soft and nice, i thought it was black but then when we walked into the sun it looked kind of light brown. her eyes were brown too and they were wide but in a way that looked really really good on her, i couldn't stop looking at them. and i think i saw one spot of green or something too, but only on one of her eyes. it was so cool. i really liked the way she laughed and her smile even though her braces kind of hid it, but it was mostly at grayson's jokes because i was too nervous to say anything except for something really dumb. grayson has always been better with girls than i am and i usually don't care but i hope that i can impress this one. i have never frozen up around a girl like i did with her!

i guess i should say how we met, it was in school in the middle of lunch. gray and i usually go outside for lunch and sit in the courtyard or something because Josh sits in the cafeteria and he's pretty rude to us. we went to the courtyard but that girl was sitting in our usual spot in the shade and i got nervous right away when i saw her, my stomach started doing these flips. i tried to tell grayson we should find another spot but he just sat down anyway. the girl looked up from her homework and i thought she would think we were weird too like some other kids, but she smiled and said "oh, hello!" like she has known us forever even though we just met. even her voice was really cute though.

i didn't respond right away because my heart was beating really fast and i couldn't think of anything so she looked at grayson and he said hi back. he was going to say something else but i just randomly spat out "nice to meet you, i'm ethan and i think i'm in love with you"... i was so embarrassed, i am now too just thinking about it! i can't believe i said that....

she just laughed though and said her name was payton (i don't know if that's how she spells it, it definitely would have been weird to ask). i was so embarrassed after and i kind of forgot how to talk so grayson stepped in and that's when they started talking. luckily, grayson likes this girl in our grade named kiara so i don't think he'll try and ask her out, i think i want to anyway and gray knows so he wouldn't do that to me. peyton (seriously i don't know what way to spell it) is just so nice and funny, i want to try and talk to her and get to know her so that maybe she can see i don't just stare and blush all the time. she ended up staying with us the whole lunch and the three of us walked around so that's when i saw how her hair looked like it was changing colours.

wow, i wrote a lot in this! maybe i'll actually try to write here more, it felt so good to say everything. i tell gray everything, and i know he doesn't judge me but i don't know it's nice doing this too. i don't know how to end this thing so bye!

/kinda long a/n here

i HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WRITE LIKE A BABY ETHAN DOLAN so i mean... don't JUDGE ME IM LEARNING

i was going to do italics for all of ethan's journal entries like i did for the voicemails in breathe me but idk if people will find it annoying so if it is just say so :-)

also those of you who read fight for me YA gray has a crush on a girl named kiara hehe get it

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS I'M ACTUALLY SO EXCITED

el