Dear Diary...

Last Goodbye

< Yeri POV >

"Are you guys coming to see him off?" I ask the girls as they sat on the couch.

"I don't want to be seen a mess in front of camera. We need to keep our image happy." Irene says then looks over at me near the door. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"I'll be fine. Plus, this is the last time I'll be able to see him again before they put him in the ground." I say with a slight smile, "Plus, it will help make it easier, knowing he's in good hands."

Irene nods then returns her attention to her phone, "Stay safe, Yeri. Stay with the other idols and staff. Try not to get in the way."

"I'm old enough to know what and what not to do, I'll be fine." I say to them as I walk out the door. I'm going to cry again.. it's worth it if I get to see you one last time.. I close the door and head down to the van.

Hopping into the van, the driver and one of the staffs look at me with a confused face, "Just me today." They nod as we drive down to the funeral hall.

***

We arrive at the funeral hall. Cameras are already lined outside, ready to get all of this onto the news. I guess they are going to be watching on TV. I take a deep breath and join Super Junior members on the side of the carpet. "Where's the others?" Leeteuk leans down and whispers to me.

"They didn't want to cry on camera, so they are going to watch at the dorm." He nods and we look to see the funeral limo back up into view. Don't you start, Yeri- I take another deep breath and look at the entrance to the funeral hall, no one is coming yet.

I look across from me to see Girls Generation. Everyone is crying already, mostly Taeyeon. I look at them crying then look down at the ground, trying to contain myself. Suddenly, I get a nudge, making me look up. When I look, I see Minho carrying the cross. Here he comes.. The casket in which he lay, is being carried by the rest of the SHINee members and a few others. Key's face is bright red. I can just feel his pain right now. I see his casket being carried towards the limo, going out of my sight. I start to tear up and move past the people and go in front to see him being put into the limo. My tears uncontrollably start strolling down my face. I'm sorry, I tried to hold it in.. I hang my head down so others would see the tears. When I think I have controlled myself, I look back up at the limo, they close the trunk. Let's meet again another day. 

The limo drives away causing my reactions to go and follow it. Leeteuk grabs a hold of my wrist to stop me. I turn around and hug him tightly, trying to refrain from crying again. I feel his arms wrap around me and we stay there for a few minutes. We let go and realize it's time to get going. I wipe my tear-stained face and take a deep breath, calming myself down.

I look for my van, seeing it pull right in front of me. I quickly get in. "Please go." As told, the driver quickly started driving back to the dorm. I choke on my own tears while tightly grabbing a hold of my necklace. I quietly cry in the van while looking out the window, remembering the memories we had.

When the van stops in front of the SM building, I open the door to the van and run inside of the building. Running up to the dorm, I open it quickly, having all eyes locked on me, except for Wendy. She was staring at the screen. I close the door and slowly walk to the couch where they sit in front of the TV. I look at the TV with my somewhat hazy vision. Why am I on TV? I look at the headline. Red Velvet's Yeri, disrespectful to the rest of the company, walking to the front to be closer to Jonghyun. I stay still for a second. Once I feel tears forming in my eyes again, I run out of the dorm.

I bust open the doors to the empty practice room. I fall down on the floor, cuddled in my knees and bawling my eyes out.

< Jungkook POV >

"It looks like Yeri has been acting a little selfish lately. With the passing of the 27 year old, she goes to his side as much as-" I turn the TV off, all of BTS looking at me.

"I've heard enough." I throw the remote on Jimin's lap and ran out of the door. Yeri shouldn't have to go through this alone. I run out of the BigHit building and down main street. I don't care who sees me, she's hurting. Running down the busy main street, surprisingly, no one notices who I am. I guess I'm just running too fast.

Running through the doors of SM, I walk to the doors of the practice room. I quietly open the door, and peek my head in. There she is, huddled into the corner, crying her eyes out. Yeri.. I quietly close the door when I'm inside and slowly walk over to her. She's too busy crying, she didn't even notice me. I sit beside her and look at her for a second before placing my hand on her back. Her head jolts up, and stares at me. "Kook.."

Her face is red and wet from crying. I look at her eyes, tears streaming down her face. "It's okay." I bring her into a comforting hug. Once she felt my arms around her, she burst into tears again. I keep her in my arms, gently stroking her hair. I feel her arms go around my waist, causing me to hold on to her tighter.

"I-I tr-ried.." She chokes on her words while continuing to cry her heart out.

"Shh, it's okay. Let it out. I'm right here." She continues to cry at full force. "They shouldn't put you on the spotlight like that, that's not right."

She sniffs, trying to calm down her crying. Breathing heavily, she lets go a little and sits up straighter. I look at her face, even more stained with tears. Her lip is quivering and her whole body is shaking. Her hair is messed in her face, I can't see her face anymore. I move her hair out of the way and put it behind her ears. She's looking down, some tear drops still coming from her eyes. I gently wipe those tears from her eyes and try to look at her. Her breathing has calmed down and her body isn't shaking as much. "Thank you." She looks up at me and weakly smiled.

"You don't need to thank me. I've seen this happen to so many people, it's not good to go through it alone." I smile at her, "Plus, I hate to see tears on a beautiful face like yours." 

She sits up against the wall and hangs her head shyly. "I mean it. I don't really get a lot of support around here from staff, and my family is too busy now a days for me. So, it's nice to know that there is some one to look forward to."

"I told you, we are here for you. It's a tough time in your life and being on the spot light 24/7 doesn't help it either." She gives off a cute and short laugh. "Hey, there's a laugh."

She leans her head on my shoulder. "It's nice to have someone like you around."

***

I smile brightly and walk up to the door of the dorm. "It's nice to have someone like you around." I smile even wider, opening the door to the dorm. I check the clock, it's getting late. I quietly close the door and walk to my bedroom. All the lights are turned off and Jimin is laying on his bed. I go into the bathroom with my clothing and change into what I sleep in.

When I walk out, Jimin is sitting up straight in his bed. I jump and whisper angrily, "What the heck, Park Jimin?! You scared me!"

He whispers back with a smirk, "Don't yell, you're going to wake everyone up."

"Boy, I outta-" I raise my hand, take a deep breath then lower my hand. "You're lucky, this time."

"Is she okay?"

I look at him suddenly and whisper angrily again, "Why do you care?"

"Whoah, chill. She was on the news, I just want to make sure she's okay. Can't a friend be worried? Dang-" He lays back down on his pillows while looking over at my bed.

"Sorry.. I didn't mean to-"

"You like her, don't you?" He raises one of his eyebrows then lets out a chuckle.

"What? Why would you think that?" I give him a weird face. He gives me that 'come on now' face. I surrender. "Okay, so what if I do?"

"You're going to get yourself into something you might regret."

"It's not even a lot of feelings, it's probably just a fluke. They are probably just going to be gone by tomorrow." I lay down, covering myself in my blankets and staring up at the ceiling.

"Maybe, but I would be careful around her for now on." He closes his eyes, slowly falling asleep.

Maybe I should be careful..