考拉|koala°taekook

シ

Cold. Immeasurable cold.

Pain. Pulsating throughout his body.

Emotion. Evident streams of tears.

Yet Jungkook still forced himself to keep walking, keep going, clutching the flimsy sweater around him as he pawed through the thick blanket of white crystals. Shivers wracked his being, shoulders hunched against the iciness, eyes blurry as he tried to blink the tears away.

Reaching his car, he climbed inside. Closing the door shut, he collapsed against the steering wheel in a sobbing heap, knuckles stark white as he balled them into fists.

I left him.

How could I?

The marks along his neck throbbed, making him wince.

I trusted him, how could he do this?

Revving up the engine, he took it out of the driveway.

From inside the house, Taehyung heard the screech of tires on cement. Yet he couldn't move, couldn't even register the sound. A whirlwind of emotion trundled around in his head, rendering him immobile.

On the forefront was simply anger. Not at Jungkook, no. The anger was directed at himself, at the the way he was pathetic, at the way he had no control over himself, at the way he had practically branded himself a criminal unintentionally.

I mean, rape, without even knowing you raped someone? When all it felt like was pure and sweet ecstasy?

And Jungkook had trusted him. Had been willing to give up his innocence for him. And what had he given him in return?

Taehyung couldn't even form the conscious thought that he was crying; fat droplets rolling down his damp cheeks. He hugged his knees closer to his chest, digging his nails into his calves, erecting blood, leaving long white scars.

Underneath the anger was pain. Pain of losing Jungkook. Pain of letting him go. With his boyfriend, for however short of a time Jungkook had held that title, gone, there was this hole in Taehyung's heart. A hole that left a literal pang of pain in him. For the first time, he understood what people in movies meant when they said, ‘heart break’.

He felt drained, drained of emotions, which was hilarious because one part of his brain was telling him to do one thing while the other forced him to do that.

And it seemed as if his other identity was jeering at him, as in, yes, I raped our boyfriend. And yes, I'm leaving you to revel in the misery of what we did. And yes, I won't come out to play because I want to see you suffer.

Taehyung let out a growl of anger as he grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be his bedside lamp, and threw it as hard as he could against the wall.

It collided with a crash, the broken parts flying everywhere.

It didn't satisfy Taehyung in the least.

Grabbing the chair in the corner, he threw that too. It broke, a mess of splinters cascading everywhere.

But there was only so much that breaking objects could do.

Arms aching, Taehyung felt all his anger drain out as quickly as it came in, and instead be replaced with utter hopelessness. He fell to his knees, head sagging as hands grasped at the roots of his hair.

“Please come back.” He whimpered to the empty echoing walls around him. “P-please, I need you...

“Come back to me.”

A/N: and this is what happens when my unmotivated ass tries to write

im sorry for this shitty update, its just that im sleepy

sorry  :(