Ready or Not

Inside Out

When Jo stepped out of the elevator that bright sunshiny day, her heart had sunken to the floor like a stone in water. The bright rays of sun made her feel more like an ant under a magnifying glass than anything else. Her breath caught in her throat and crumpled inward, breath in, breath out. It was almost as if someone had taken a baseball bat to her chest when that sinister smile split his face in two; the smile that said "I found you". The last time she had seen that smile he had been standing over her while she screamed and writhed in pain. Bruised, bloody, and nearly dead. It all flashed before her eyes and she relived every hit.

When Jo woke up she could feel the fog rolling over the bed; the hot, heavy air swirling around her and leaving her chilled to the bone.

"Jo? Hey babe, where's breakfast?" She could hear the malice ring through his voice.

He didn't care about breakfast one bit. He hated it actually, but it made a wonderful excuse for an early morning beating.

"Oh what is it you wanted? I know you like eggs and bacon but we're all out." An equally wonderful excuse rings back with false cheer.

"And who's fault is that? I give you grocery money, so where is it going?" He paused and although he was turned away, she could tell that a malicious smirk had grown across his face.

The beginning of another long day.

"Hey Brooke, oh wait, it's Jo now isn't it?" He grinned staring deep into her eyes. She could tell he was thinking of the same things she was, fondly. She stared at him, her face was blank of emotion, shock tearing her mind in two. Silently she walked away, stiff and shaking but with purpose.

Frankie. If Alex gave him heparin he would bleed out. She had to get there. The housing behind her was muffled. "Hey! Jo?" He sounded almost concerned as he sped after her. She darted down the hall and into the paeds wing breathing heavily.

She darted into the bathroom tears streaming over her bruised face. "You're okay, you're okay Jo you've got this all under control. It's okay, it's okay." She whispered to herself as she bandaged up the ripped skin near her puffy eyes. Little patches all over her skin, covering the bleeding. "It's okay, it's okay" He knocked on the door with his sweet caring faux voice, she could hear him leaning on the door frame and his soft breaths. "Hey Jo, I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean it. I"- He took a deep somber breath that sent chills down her spine. "- I've had a really rough day and I just snapped. I shouldn't've, it was wrong. I'm so sorry, can I help?" Her vision was spotted and the floor swayed beneath her. The door was locked and she stayed quiet as she backed away from the sink and into the shower before she texted her friend Ash from med school to pick her up. "I know Paul, I'm okay I just need a minute." He went silent and paced back into their room. It's okay, it's okay. She whispered as she waited for Ash to take her away forever.

In the Paeds wing Jo heard Paul shouting behind her. The on call room door was just a little further and to the left, she was soon running and slammed the on call room door behind her, flipping the lock and slipping to the ground with her hands on her head. She rocked softly back and forth.

Back again she thought. He would never leave. She could never leave. She was in a maze in which she continued in circles to the same dead end, again and again. She heard him knock once then twice. The doorknob jiggled. She could hear the flurry of staff darting back and forth down the hall completely unaware.

"Joooooo. Hey baby girl can we talk?" She could almost see his charming smile through the door. She chose to greet him with only silence. Instead she picked up her pager. She wanted to page Alex but something stopped her. She couldn't bother him right now. She pages Meredith hoping that she would help. Meredith knew and understood, she needed that right now. Alex might kill him or hurt him or something. He didn't before, but things were different now that he had found her.

Meredith soon opened the door and Jo noticed Paul had left his place at the doorframe. Probably waiting somewhere for her to leave. She sat down next to Jo whom was trembling.

"What's wrong? Something happen?" She whispered, a hand on her shoulder. Jo merely nodded her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. Mer nodded softly.

"Paul." Jo's voice was as rough as sandpaper. Mer's eyes widened.

"Here? Should I call security? Alex? Bailey?" She shifted closer and put her hand on her cheek. "Are you going to be okay?" She whispered comfortingly.

"I- I'm okay. I think. I just need to come to terms with this. I was fine when I knew- he would find me on my terms, just needed some adjustment time. To you know- him just showing up." Jo's words were broken and staggered, she nodded her head softly as if agreeing with herself.

"I think I just needed someone here, so I didn't feel so scared. I'm sorry to bother you, you must be busy." Jo looked up at her with her eyes which were dark and welled with tears.

"Oh no Jo, I'm not busy it's fine." She paused, scooting to sitting cross legged across from her.  Mer rested her elbows on the sides of her feet, holding her head in her hands.

"You know you have people in your corner right Jo? If you need me or anyone, we're here for you. All of us. You didn't just find Alex, you've got a whole family here Jo, and we have your back." Jo nodded softly and smiled sadly at Meredith.

"Thank you. I think I really needed that." Jo sat up and leaned back into the door.

Mer sighed and stood up, her arms stretched downward towards Jo. Jo looked up at her and tilted her head and furrowing her brow. Mer raised her eyebrows.

"Come on." Mer threw her a friendly grin.

"Let's dance it out" Jo looked up and smiled sincerely through her tears and stood up with Mer, whom had begun playing a variety of cheerful yet crappy songs that were oddly comforting. The sound was crappy and echoey but all the same they danced with the door unlocked and their hair down and all over the place. Jumping in the air with smiles that reached their puffy eyes.

Paul was back. Back again. But for now, everything was okay.