Ready or Not

Bottom of the River

As Alex shuffled toward the hospital room, Meredith looked dull at his side. His heart was raising and his breath caught it his throat. A massive lump that he couldn't swallow.

Turning the corner and walking by the glass windows, Alex's heart sunk. Tubes spilled out of her in abundance. Half her face was covered with a breathing tube. Monitors littered the room.

"But you said..." Alex felt the tears pricking the corner of his eyes and his voice hitched.

"She's not. Yet. Everything seems fine she's just having way more trouble than usual." Alex felt the floor away under him, reaching for the chair in the corner of the room he sat down, trying to calm the gravity of the situation.

"I'm so sorry Alex. She might still wake up." Met rests a hand on his shoulders but his black sunken eyes were dull.

Suddenly a crash snapped everyone's heads towards the door. Paul looked awkward, having fumbled into a cart by the doorway, knocking items to the floor. He ignored them to look past to Jo. His face fell and a faint whimper escaped his lips.

"God I fucked up." Alex stood in ferocity but Mer calmed him, placing her hands on his upper arms.

"I know." She whispered softly. Paul looked up with sad eyes at her.

"Can I say something? To her?" Alex growled softly but Mer nodded. Alex glanced to her in confusion and anger.

Paul slowly walked towards her bedside. He swung the stool towards him and sat down resting his head on the edge of the bed.

"I'm so sorry. I'm messed up in the head and I brought you into that sinkhole. God I want you back. More than anything. Well, more than anything aside from the fact if that happened I would lose my cool again. I know that would happen. That's just me I guess." He tapped his foot softly and whined.

"I'm supposed to be better than putting my wife in a coma. Better than beating her. But I'm not. And I'm sorry. But you are the only thing that makes me sane Jo." His voice turned dark. Everyone in the room was just out of earshot but he whispered it just in case Jo was conscious to hear it. "I know I'm horrible but you make me feel better. So if you get out of this... I need you Jo. I need you and I'm not going anywhere."

A pause let the thoughts click in his head. He smiled softly.

"And I am still your husband after all."

————————————————————————

Alex grumbled, pacing back and forth outside the door. Mer with her arms crossed beside him.

"What if he does something?? Tries to kill her?" He worried.

"Alex we can see him through the glass."

"What if Jo doesn't want this? She doesn't want to talk to him."

"She's unconscious."

"ALL THE MORE REASON HE SHOULDN'T BE IN THERE."

"Alex he's her husband."

"But he's an abusive prick"

Mer sighed softly. The argument nearing its end with a blow that was sure to hurt.

"Alex as of now he is her medical power of attorney."

His jaw dropped and he stopped dead in his tracks.

"No way." He nearly laughed. "No way that prick is representing her. She must have someone else down?" Mer shook her head softly at him.

"She doesn't have anyone down. Never filled it out. So he is the default right now Alex." Alex stumbled backward into the walls, placing his hands on his head, violently shaking it to the side.

"No way. No way." Mer placed a hand on his shoulder but he flinched away.

"You're telling me that the man that almost beat her to death has the power to make all of her medical decisions right now?"

"I'm so sorry Alex."

"So we have to let him stay. He gets to know everything.... to make a decision for her."

"Yes."

Alex let his knees bend and crouched at the base of the walls. He let his head rest of the crash cart beside him as Mer slowly drop to his side.

"We won't let anything happen to her Alex. We won't let him be an ass about it. She will make it through this."

"She hasn't woken up yet." He muttered. Mer gave a gentle nod.

"There's still time." Arizona stood at the doorway and glanced down at them sadly.

"How long has it been?" He whispered.

"There's still time Alex."

"What if she doesn't wake up?" He whimpered, but Mer remained silent. She glanced up toward Arizona whom Alex had yet to notice and gave a weak smile that didn't reach her eyes.

Arizona quietly crouched in front of Alex, placing her hand on his knee which was tight against his chest.

"She's strong. Jo is going to fight through ths, she needs you by her side Alex." He remained silent, he gave a soft nod before Arizona stood to walk away, tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

"This is it, isn't it Mer." He weakly muttered, uncurling slightly.

"She's alive Alex..." he cut her off and gave a soft weakened chuckle.

"No not like that. This is it. This is the bottom of the river, the belly of the whale." Mer gave him a confused stare, eyebrow raising slightly. He smiled sadly, his eyes wet and red.

"The worst it can get. It can only go up from here right?" Mer wrapped her arm around his shoulders and leaned into his side.

"Yeah. Bottom of the river Alex. It's the bottom of the river." Alex's eyes grew somber and his mouth drooped.

"It's a long way down."