i'm so in love ( byler )

painful memories | Chapter 7

Will spends the Night at Mikes house. He insisted on sleeping on the floor because he doesn't want Mike to feel uncomfortable.
After what happened earlier this night he knows that Mike likes him but he also knows that Mike is still tying to come to terms with his feelings.Will doesn't want to push him and to be honest Will is also a bit scared of all this but he really is happy that Mike loves him back.

It's dark in Mikes room and Will stares up at the ceiling. He can't sleep. His mind wanders to all the bullies in school and to all of the homophobic comments he has heard in his life.

He hears his fathers voice clear in his head "don't act like a fucking fag Will, i swear i'm going to hate you until the day i die if you are queer" He remembers that day like it was yesterday. He had just made a drawing of two boys holding hands and when his dad came home he just started to scream at him and he tore apart all of his drawings. When Jonathan tried to stop him his father hit his brother very, very hard. Will didn't draw anything for months after that.

Will is suddenly crying because he is so afraid of what may happen if he and Mike ever came out as a couple. He knows that there are many people in this world who thinks exactly same as his dad does about people like Mike and him. What if he has put Mike in serious danger by confessing his love for him?

He tries to cry as quiet as possible because he doesn't want to wake Mike up but it is hard.

His whole body shakes and more memories from the past with his dad flashes by and Will hates himself. Tears are streaming down the little boys face.

( a couple of minutes later)

" Will whats wrong, are you crying" Mike says with a sleepy voice.
Will can't speak. He just cries.
"Sleep next to me instead of the floor, please" Mike says with his beautiful voice. He sounds very worried.

Will crawls up to Mikes small bed and he feels embarassed. Why can't he just be fucking normal.
Mike puts his blanket over Wills shaking body and then he carfully puts his arms around the other boy. Will rests his head against Mikes chest.
" i'm so scared Mike" Will sobs
" i'm scared too but we have eacother and everything is going to be okay, i promise" Mike whispers.
Will feels a lot calmer in Mikes arms so after a while the two boys fall asleep like that, in eachother's arms.

That night Nancy comes in to Mikes room and sees the two sleeping boys and she just smiles, whispers " i knew it" and carfully closes the door.

( i'm sorry for mistakes in the text and in the other chapters. My english isn't perfect but i'm trying )