Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Percico)

Chapter Twelve

Percy

She deserved to know. So I brought Nancy to the graveyard after we all finished having lunch. As we started walking, I explained to her what happened.

"To be fair, I didn't know shit in sixth grade." I explained that right away. "Grover did, but he probably didn't know you were Luke's sister. Because he ran away, yeah. And he ended up here. Camp Half-Blood. And after I got expelled, Grover and my mother brought me here because of my father. That's how I met Luke. And he was a really cool guy, as I'm sure you know."

"Yeah, what about it?"

I took in a breath.

"He got... He was fed up," I don't know how to tell somebody that. When they don't know they're dead or that they even might've died. Just out of the blue. It kills me when I have to do this. "your guy's dad just pushed him to his limit that summer and he left this place. He had this plan and it almost worked. Fuck, it could've worked. But uh..."

We walked up to his grave.

"He died." I broke the news to her. "Two summers ago. August 18. He didn't die in vain. He did let himself go, though. And, as much as it might not make sense, he kind of knew that he had to. Even if the rest of us didn't want him to."

It still fucking hurt.

I crossed my right arm over and held onto my other arm

Of course, she cried. She got frustrated. She screamed for her brother. And I cried. Because I miss him.

But screaming is getting me nowhere.

Bianca showed up and took over as I walked with Nico back to the stream. And I talked to him. Told him what I've been holding back.

About how bad it's really been. How I didn't actually eat anything today. Nancy just did because I offered and I didn't want him to get mad because I didn't eat.

Because I've eaten once in three days. Which was last night.

And I'm still not hungry. I'm exhausted. I don't want to do anything anymore. I have no motivation. No energy.

I'm a fucking trainwreck, and I don't want to be. But I don't know how to get better.

He asked if I wanted to go home. And I told him that I didn't know. Because I don't want to be here. But I'm not sure if I want to be there, either. If I'll be any better with my parents.

So I packed my bag up that night. Or, afternoon, really. And I left. Without a word. Nico knew. That was all I cared. I called Dad, being Mom was working.

"Hey, kiddo," I've worried them over the last month, and it made me feel bad. Hopefully I can make it up. "How're you feeling?"

"I've been worse," I didn't have another way to answer that. "I uh... Are you at the apartment right now?"

"No, I'm at my place right now." Gabe told me, noticing that something was off. "Why? Is everything okay? Did you get like expelled from camp?"

"No, I didn't get kicked out." I assured him that I wasn't that dumb. "I'm just on my way home. I have a key, though. Just figured I'd ask if you were around, though. I know Mom works today."

"Oh," he said, thinking for a moment. "Why are you going home, then? Don't get me wrong, I love having you home. But your mom said that you loved it there."

"Yeah, a long time ago." I tried to explain to him as the cab pulled up to the building and I paid him. "But it's been a really shitty summer and I just need to go somewhere. I'm not like suicidal or anything. But I just can't handle being there right now."