Drunk Oikawa
Oikawa: IIIIIIWWAAAAA-CHAAAAAAN
Oikawa: I NEED YOUR HELP
Iwaizumi: What do you want Shittykawa
Oikawa: Ok so you know the dresser in my room
Iwaizumi: Yes
Oikawa: Ok, there's something weird on it and idk what it is
Iwaizumi: Um...describe it
Oikawa: Ok, so it's an orb of water, but it's not really water
Oikawa: Like, it looks like water but when I touched it, it was hard
Iwaizumi: Um...
Oikawa: Ok, obviously you're confused I'll just have to provide more descriptions
Iwaizumi: Ok
Oikawa: So there's like, pebbles or something in the orb, and there's a plant in there too
Oikawa: But that's not even the scary thing
Iwaizumi: What's the scary thing?
Oikawa: There's some weird orange thing in the orb
Oikawa: It looks like a lizard, but it's not a lizard cuz it doesn't have legs
Oikawa: Like, it has legs but they're really flat and short and there's no feet
Iwaizumi: Oikawa Tooru
Iwaizumi: Shittykawa Tooru, sorry
Oikawa: What
Iwaizumi: Are you drinking with Mattsun again
Oikawa: Yeah, Why?
Iwaizumi: You know the scary thing on your dresser?
Oikawa: Yeah
Iwaizumi: That's a goldfish bowl dumbass. Stop drinking
~~~~~~~~~~~
Drunk Iwa-chan
Iwaizumi: OIKAWA
Oikawa: WHAT
Iwaizumi: IM PREGNANT
Oikawa: ...
Iwaizumi: I THINK IT MIGHT BE YOUR KID
Oikawa: BUT I'M THE BOTTOM THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
Iwaizumi: I KNOW THAT'S WHY I'M FREAKING OUT
Oikawa: Haha you're so easy. Don't freak out Iwa-chan
Iwaizumi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON'T FREAK OUT
Iwaizumi: I HAVE EVERY REASON TO FREAK OUT
Oikawa: Iwa-chan, you're a boy
Iwaizumi: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING
Oikawa: Just go to bed Iwa-chan. When you wake up in the morning, the baby will be gone
Iwaizumi: I'M PRETTY SURE IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT
Oikawa: It does if you're the top Iwa-chan
Iwaizumi: THIS BETTER WORK SHITTYKAWA
{8 hours later}
Iwaizumi: OIKAWA
Oikawa: HOW ARE YOU STILL DRUNK?!!?!?
Iwaizumi: What?
Iwaizumi: I'm not drunk anymore
Oikawa: Then what are you freaking out about
Iwaizumi: IF YOU TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS I WILL KILL YOU
Oikawa: Ummmmm can Makki and Mattsun be excluded from "anyone?"
Iwaizumi: OIKAWA
Oikawa: Uh oh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Both
Oikawa: Iwa-chan, I want to have our wedding in Australia
Iwaizumi: Ooh sounds pretty
Iwaizumi: Where in Australia
Oikawa: P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney
Iwaizumi: OMG WE COULD HAVE A BEACH WEDDING
Oikawa: No stupid a fish tank wedding
Iwaizumi: What dress should I wear
Oikawa: The dress that Jasmine wears in Aladdin
Iwaizumi: Yassss dude
Oikawa: Can I have a bubble bouquet??
Iwaizumi: Anything for my beautiful setter
Oikawa: You think I'm beautiful??
Iwaizumi: You're sooo beautiful
Iwaizumi: Like an athletic angel
Oikawa: I'm literally crying right now Iwa-chan you're the nicest person
Oikawa: Well I think you're super hot
Iwaizumi: Really??
Oikawa: BICEPS
Oikawa: BICEPS
Oikawa: BICEPS
Oikawa: BICEPS
Oikawa: OIKAWA LOVES....
Iwaizumi: BICEPS
{9 hours later}
Iwaizumi: OIKAWA TOORU YOU LITTLE SHITYKAWA IM GOING TO KILL YOUUUUUUUU
Oikawa: WHAT DID I DO
Iwaizumi: YOUR DRUNK DUMBASS SENT SCREENSHOTS OF OUR MESSAGES TO KUNIMI AND KINDAICHI
Iwaizumi: THERE IS AN ENTIRE INSTAGRAM DEDICATED TO US
Oikawa: Aww, that's cute
Iwaizumi: I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T COMING OUT UNTIL CHRISTMAS
Oikawa: WELL I WAS DRUNK IT'S NOT MY FAULT
Iwaizumi: Whatever Shittykawa
Iwaizumi: See you at practice
Oikawa: ...yeah
YOU ARE READING
Haikyuu!! Texts
FanfictionA behind-the-scenes look into the phones of Haikyuu, including members of Karasuno, Nekoma, Fukurodani, Aoba Johsai, Date Tech, Johzenji, and Shiratorizawa.
