Friends • E.D.

twenty-eight

His eyes locked on me and I froze. He froze as well. I looked him straight in the eye and saw he was scared, hurt, upset, everything he should be. He was unshaven and his hair was madly ruffled, his eyes were puffy and bruised, and he had a set of bags that would put designers to shame. His lips were gnawed and swollen, his nose red and dry. He was wearing an old cut off that proudly presented a peep show, 4OU tight grey sweatpants, and he was barefoot.

Despite the hurt that covered his face, and the restlessness that reeked from his body, he still looked as beautiful as ever. I saw his knuckles go white as he gripped the side of the door. He lowered his head and I knew he was just as lost for words as I was.

“Why are you here?” he asked, his head still low.

“Grayson made me.” I answered. He scoffed and shook his head.

“Figures…”

“And I wanted to come.” I piped out. He lifted his head only slightly, peering up at me curiously.

“You wanted to come?”

“I needed to come.” He now straightened himself, eyes narrowed down at me.

“Ethan…”

“That’s bullshit. You didn’t need to come. You didn’t need to do anything because you’ve already fucking done enough. Goodbye Daisy.” he started to close the door.

“Ethan wait!” I said loudly pressing my hand against the door.

“Goodbye.” he said sternly, and I could see his eyes start to glaze.

“No Ethan!” I shoved open the door with all my might, sending Ethan back a few steps.

“What more do you want to do to me Dais?!” he shouted at me. I stared at him breathlessly.

“You’ve already consumed my life, stolen my heart, broken my heart, and destroyed my aspiration to keep going. The only other thing you could do at this point is stick a gun to my head and pull the fucking trigger, and trust me, that’d be doing me a fucking favor.”

We stared at each other for a moment, but it seemed so much longer than that. I was seeing Ethan in a state I had never seen him before. He wasn’t even this heartbroken after what Meredith had done. He wasn’t this mad when Jack had exposed him. He wasn’t this enraged when he found out his dad had cancer…

“I would do that for you Ethan...in a heartbeat...but if I did that for you I would only have to turn the gun on myself because if I lose you it’ll destroy me completely…”

His eyes narrowed on me.

“You’re so full of-”

“No, Ethan. Please, hear me out ok.” I took a deep shaky breath, and clasped my sweaty palms together.