Possessive Alpha Kaden ✔️

Chapter 25

Unedited

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She was only eighteen, and she had her whole life ahead of her. She was supposed to take my old pack places, raise their status within the werewolf community, make them fearless warriors and powerful allies.

She'd barely gotten started before she was ripped from me, ripped from her mate and her family, all because I angered some random rogue with an obsession with me.

The guilt has been eating me alive.

I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't bare the weight on my chest that's crushing me, making it difficult to breathe. I feel guilty still being here, my mate holding me, alive.

So I arranged everything as an apology to her. I took the weight from her parent's shoulders, planning her funeral and paying for it, making sure everything was covered. I don't know whether or not it helped me lift the world sized ball of guilt from deep inside my chest (it didn't) but it did help me focus my mind.

Sitting around and doing nothing was forcing me to think about what I witnessed in my father's old office, how I couldn't do anything to save her. How once again I let her down, but this time it cost her life.

I also arranged for Mark to be buried right beside her, his funeral at the exact same time as hers so they can leave for the moon together. I've prayed constantly for Luna to take good care of them, make their second life longer and better than their first one.

The rain is cold against my skin, but I stay sat like a statue, unmoving, my eyes glued to the pack members lowering my two best friend's coffins into the ground. It's torrentially pouring down, puddles soaking the grass around my feet and filling my shoes. My hair is stuck to my face, making my visibility difficult, not that I can see through the tears I'm trying so desperately not to shed.

I'm a Luna, I cannot show weakness in times of pack hardship. My old pack lost their alphas last week and no longer have anyone to turn to, and I'm the closest thing they have to any form of pack authority.

"Lola." My mate says gently, placing his large hand on my shoulder. "You can't stay out here forever, we have some things to sort out for crescent moon."

I shrug his hand from my shoulder and continue staring forward, avoiding his presence. He's been so patient with me, so caring, and all I've done is ignore his advances to look after myself, and to guide our pack without me. This isn't the first time today I've wanted to be alone, and I know that the responsibility is weighing down on him.

He's been more tired than usual, dark circles permanently underneath his eyes. He handled the workload by himself for four years, but now that I have separate responsibilities as a Luna, he's been taking those on too, which he didn't do before.

"Not now Kaden, please not now." I whisper, my fingers wringing together in my lap. "Please can I just be by myself and mourn my best friends."

He doesn't leave, only occupies the seat beside me. He stays with me whilst the minutes pass by, the rain drenching his already tight suit and matting his once perfectly styled hair to his head. Never letting go of my hands, not even when they go numb. I know that his go numb too because they're icy to touch, just like mine.

"Kaden you don't have to stay outside, you're freezing." I mutter, my eyes finally tearing away from the tombstones they've finally finished putting into place. They're coloured a black marble, the white writing neat and stark against the cold colour. "You don't need to stay."

"Yes I do." He growls, his icy eyes boring into my own. "I want to be here for you, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent to. I need you to know I'm here for you, because sometimes I don't think you know that."