Words Of The Heart

Fear

11/17/16

Lost once again in a deluge of thoughts, crippled by self doubt and unhappiness, unable to escape the ever growing shadows of fear and death. So dark and depressing my thoughts have become. I feel like I am being crushed, I feel it in my chest. It feels heavy, like someone is sitting on me.

How do I escape the shadows? How do I find the light?

Should I just continue on the path that I am on? Or should I make a change? A bit of the misery emanates from that which is the source of my pride and the source of my sorrow. I both love my job and hate it. I feel so low on the chain, that nothing that I do really matters. Why am I still there? Why do people think that I am so good at what I do? If I hate it so much, why am I still there?

FEAR

That's why I stay.

Fear of the unknown. Fear is what drives the unknown. Fear...I am stuck in its depths. I hurt inside and out. Everything I do or say seems to be misinterpreted.

11/21/16

Improving everyday, trying to regain that which has been lost. Such a shift from the norm. The darkness has been a constant in the past few weeks.