Words Of The Heart

Dark Days

October 11th, 2017

I thought it was better to keep it all in, I was wrong. I haven't written anything down because not all of my thoughts are that of a happy being. I am drained, I feel defeated, I am seemingly on the verge of giving up. My body aches and groans with what seems like contempt with life. I feel like I am weakness incarnate, that I am a representation of my fears. It is hard to tear myself away from what I perceive to be my reality.

October 17th, 2017

There are days where  I don't think too highly of myself, yet there you are to pick me back up, reassuring me that I am not as terrible as I make myself up to be. There are days where I overthink everything and panic over nothing. And there you are yet again with your calming words, telling me not to overthink and to say whats on my mind. Then there are the days where I just want to hide what I feel and lie to the world. And yet again, here you are, asking the questions that most avoid and pressing me to just be honest about what I feel.  And as always... there come the days where I want to give up, I just want my life to end. And here you are again, as always, a constant presence that encourages me, even as you face your own struggles and defeats.

The world is not as dark as believe it to be. Most parts are indeed bleak. But the one thing that I hold onto is the pocket of light within my brief existence.

October 19th, 2017

Humanity, we are but a drop of existence in this world. A blip of destruction and death, slowly eating way at the world and one day there may be nothing left. My wish is that one day humanity be wiped from the planet as we are nothing but a plague. We act as though we care for the death of members of our species, but in reality we do not, we are equivalent to some of the animals on the planet. 

One day there will be no one left to read our words. No one left to care about humanities failings. No one left to know the thoughts of an expired human who no longer matters, nor mattered whilst his mind still functioned. 

The people in his life, he mattered to them as they mattered to him. Everything he said, thought or did, it mattered. Though some days he wished that nothing mattered, so that he could flicker from existence as the flame flickers from the wick of a candle. He was the only inhibitor of his own destruction and disillusions. 

October 21st, 2017

The world isn't as terrible as it seems. There are those that brighten up the world with the words they speak, whether they be words of encouragement or just general conversation, making that attempt to have a human connection is all the more worthwhile.

There are times where I am all but present within the world around me. Just a shell with a beating heart, I just can't bring my self to care. I'm just here...