Falling Apart | k.th (Complete)

Savior

“Don’t think of anything
don’t say anything, not even a word
just give me a smile”
-Butterfly

  I have completely lost the feeling of time. I cannot say how many days passed since she locked me in this room. She tries to care for me, makes me food and brings me water buckets so I can clean myself but, I cannot live like this. I refused to eat the meals she made, I am too afraid that they could be poisonous. The only thing I can think about is Tae. He must be worried since I haven’t been able to answer his massages or calls. I miss him, I really do. Sometimes I imagine that he would come to save me, like in one of those unrealistic movies I hate. That he would be my light to save me from the dark. I just want this to be over soon. I want to go back home, back to Tae. I want to rest my head on his chest and just forget about the world, about all my worries.

  “Why are you doing this, Julia?” I ask her for the nth time now. “You are mine.” The same answer as always. Why does she think I belong to her? I am not something anyone can own. I am human and you cannot own a human being. “Why am I yours?”

  “You are too beautiful for him. He doesn’t deserve you. These ugly Chinese guys are not worth your love. I am much better than him. I can give you what you need. He is just an overestimated guy that had the luck to have a good voice. Nothing more. He is useless to this world. He could die and no one would care about this, because anyway, life goes on.” Her words hurt me. How can she talk this bad about someone I love? Seems like I have found my very own sasaeng. “Julia… I cannot live like this forever. Do you think this is what I need?”

  “Of course you do. You need someone to dominate you and he is too soft to do this. I am able to dominate you and you can do nothing about this.” OK. I am locked in this room till I die. Tae will maybe never find me and will hate me forever because he thinks I don’t want to be with him anymore. He will think I left him without saying good-bye. I will never see his face again. This thought hurts maybe more than dying.

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  “She hasn’t answered my calls and massages for days, Jimin. She said she would come home on Tuesday. Do you think she hates me? She doesn’t want to be with me anymore?” Jimin just looks at Tae. He doesn’t believe that Syra would be this kind of girl to leave you just like this. “I don’t think that this will calm you down but I don’t think she just left like this. There must be something going on back in Germany.”

  “And I cannot go there to confront her. Our schedule is too tight.” Tae says, trying to calm himself down but it doesn’t work. “Hyung, I think Sejin will understand if you would attend practice for a few days. You are a good dancer and singer and you will catch up easily after you come back here. In this state you cannot think straight, you are too worried. Working with you would be impossible. Maybe you should call Sejin and explain it to him and see what he suggests.” Jimin was always the one to give good advises. 

  Tae called Sejin and hopes that he allows him to go to Germany and look after Syra. “Hyung, I have got a problem! I cannot reach Syra!” Sejin replies with a sigh. “What do you want me to do now?”

  “I need to go to Germany and need to find her. I cannot live without her anymore. I need to know if she just left me or if she is in danger... maybe because of me.” Tae nearly started crying. “Please, Hyung. I need her.”

  “How do you want me to do this? You need to practice for the next concerts and I cannot take responsibility for your actions again.” Tae knows exactly that Sejin is right. He cannot miss a few days of practice. “OK-“

  “But this one time, I will allow it. If anything goes wrong, you will be responsible for this. Not me. But maybe it is better for your mind to check on her, you anyway felt lost these past days.” He interrupts Tae. “Are you sure?” Tae couldn’t believe what he just said. He had doubts from the moment he pressed the call button and now he is really allowed to go to Germany. “Yes. But you will take a Bodyguard with you. We cannot risk you getting hurt.”