Kingsman: The Secret Service - Manners Maketh Man

Chapter 6

Hey guys! I'm not even gonna say anything this time, let's just get onto the chapter!

Trigger Warning: Mention of drugs, smoking, alcohol usage. Self-harm

Kingsman HQ, Dormitories

"And they were like 'No no no. We've heard about this house.' So, the story is, every year she hands out apples like this and she injects them with FUCKING POISON!" Chloe said. Eggsy and Roxy's eyes widened.

"And once I heard, that this musty dusty crusty old grandma ass bitch tried poisoning me, with an apple..." Chloe then took an apple off her nightstand. "I take the apple right out of my friend's hand, and I aim right at that bitch's head, I was like 'Yeet!'" With that, she tossed the apple right at the bed opposite her, where Charlie was preparing for his leave, and it hit right on target.

"Owww!" Charlie screamed and began rolling on the ground, his hands covering his privates. The rest began laughing. After a while, Charlie recovered and stood up, grabbing his bag, and walking out haughtily. Harry, Irene, and Agent Percival entered not too long later.

"Ready to go guys?" Irene asked. Everybody nodded and left with their agents.

Hart Household

"To pee, or not to pee?" Eggsy asked, pointing at one of the newspaper headlines pinned on the wall.

"That was the headline the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris." Harry said. Eggsy then pointed at another one.

"Germany: 1, England: 5"

"Missed that game. I was breaking up an undercover spy ring in Pentagon." Harry said.

Then Eggsy went to the far right and pointed at the top headline.

"My first mission." Harry said. "Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher."

"Not everybody would thank you for that one." Eggsy said as he walked to a chair and sat down.

"The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them." Harry said. "Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense. Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret."

Then he started explaining. "A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times. When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen." Eggsy sighed and slouched into the chair.

"That's me fucked then. It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb." Harry gave him a disapproving look.

"Nonsense. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns."

"Yeah, but how?" Eggsy asked, exasperated.

"All right, first lesson. You should've asked me before you took a seat." Eggsy gave Harry an 'are you serious' look. But the next thing Harry said brought a smile on his face.

"Second lesson, how to make a proper martini." With that, Eggsy got out of the chair. "Yes, Harry."

Grey Household

Irene and Chloe were sitting on the couch in the living room, both sipping the martinis they had made. After taking her last sip, Chloe put the glass down on the table next to the couch.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, how did you and Agent Galahad start dating?" Irene almost spat her martini out. "What do you mean?"

"Aren't you two dating?" Irene shook her head fervently. "No! We're just best friends, that's all. We go way back." Chloe had a shocked look on her face.