I'm Fine | Lee Daehwi

Emptied

"How come you came home so late Daehwi? It's already ten! You know you have to be home by nine!" my mother scolded me once I stepped foot in the house. "I understand that you may have a lot of fun with your friends but please watch the clock next time. It's not because I'm being a mean parent, it's for your safety." Fun? Did I really feel content today? I felt like it was more exhausting than anything else. 

"Okay mom, I'm sorry. I promise not to do this again." I kept my head down. 

"Good, thank you for being such a good son." She came up to me and hugged me tightly, caressing my head like a baby. It was at this point that I wanted to cry, but not in front of my mom. This small praise that she gave me made me feel like I finally received some attention for once in my life. I hugged her back and rushed to my room afterwards.

I closed the door and dropped by bags. Tears trickled down my face as I curled up behind the door. It was like all the negative feelings were being released inside me at once. I didn't want anyone to realise I was crying, so I tried to muffle my hiccups as much as I could. My face felt really sensitive with all the tears washing it and I guess wiping them away so roughly didn't help either. 

Once I calmed down a little, I went into my bathroom to get ready for bed. Gosh, my eyes were swollen and red. I cooled it down a little with cold water and brushed my teeth and changed. I climbed into bed but I just stared at the ceiling instead of sleeping straight away.

I felt weird. I felt different. I felt... lighter. I didn't feel as heavy hearted as I usually did, It was a new feeling for me. I actually felt more energised and my mind was clearer. It was like all the worries inside me had left my body through the tears I released. I smiled to myself. it was genuine and I could sense the happiness inside me. 

I couldn't stop smiling for a while but it didn't take long until my body remembered how tired it was and my eyes closed gently, bringing me into the dreamland - which was the best place for a person like me. My dreams were the place where I could be completely free and in an eternal state of bliss. My mind created my happiest thoughts while my body rested, preparing for the next day to come...