It's all too much
Too intense
Too much to handle
I don't know if I'm using this sad feeling as an excuse for myself to don't do anything, but it's all too much to handle
Maybe I'm overreaction
But this feeling is there every time I want to do something and instead of doing something useful, I just go back to bed
I'm just not able to do otherwise
I feel like everyone will be dissapointed
There was always a high chance for me to dissapoint everyone, but I always managed to not give up and just kept going
But now, I don't have enough strength
I'm week
And it's hard to admit that
I've reached a point in my life, where I see no future for me
I don't want to stop what I'm doing, but I don't want to live my future life in the same way
I can't imagine me being a adult who is lost and starving herself and absolutely desperated, but I can't imagine me moving on either
I don't even know if all of this is delusional or reality
I don't even know if I'm just overreacting or not
Maybe....
Maybe I'm wrong
And everything is fine
Maybe it will get better
If I just keep going
If I just push myself further and further
It'll be fine
Someday
At least I hope it will
