I'm sitting on a powder keg
I'm skating on thin ice
Please take the pain away from me
I can't take it anymore
I repeat those words in my mind
Over and over again
And even though I'm screaming them
No one hears
I guess I'm just not loud enough
When I'm fighting wars
Please kill those thoughts, please kill my mind
But nothing changes
I just go one like I always do
And everything seem fine
But deep inside of me, I know
I'm faking everything
And the moment comes when everything is falling down
And I am breaking
Thoughts are running trough my head
I can't see clear anymore
But this moment will pass and I will forget about it
Cause that's what I always do
If you ask me now, I can't tell you when I was feeling down and what I thought
That's why I'm writing
To remember it
To learn more about myself
So I won't forget these parts of myself
My minds does that automatically
I guess it is to protect me
But when I'm feeling better
I can't remember those nights
And I think that everything is fine
That I'm just being dramatic
That I just need to keep going
And for a while
(It can be a month or one day)
I feel better
I am better
Or that's what I thought
Because
In the next moment
I AM the powder keg
On the verge of exploding
I AM the thin ice
And if I don't watch out
I'll break
