Man this is really long. And I am aware there are probably several better stories about this topic. You have been warned.
Ships- None
Trigger Warnings- Touch starvation and mentions feelings of loneliness and isolation
3rd P.O.V
There was something Virgil never told, and never planed to tell, the others. It shouldn't have been such a surprise when the others found out, they assumed that the angsty emo just didn't like being touched; but it was the opposite. After years of being pushed aside and treated like the bad guy, he just never wanted to say anything about it. He always felt like the odd one out. So, he tended to stay a few safe inches away from the others, he was scared. Scared that if he accidentally bumped into them, they'd freak out; treat him like the 'pest' he is.
Then it changed. The change was gradual, sure, but it made Virgil feel... Accepted, important... Loved? In case you couldn't figure it out, the dark aspect was SEVERELY touch starved. He couldn't recall a physical interaction with any of the others that wasn't so minuscule that it was nothing. He watched in the background for years, watching the three exchange hugs, pats on the back, and joking nudges casually. He wanted that, but he thought he didn't deserve it.
But everything is different now. The others listen to him, accept him, would welcome him with open arms if he needed it; and he did. Desperately. But he couldn't admit it, he couldn't admit how much he needed them to interact physically with him. It was embarrassing to him. Even now, the others would occasionally nudge him, pat his back, or just simply brush his skin; Anxiety could NEVER say how much he loved all of it.
Any time one of these interactions happened he would freeze, not because he didn't like being touched, but because it set his deserted skin into a flash flood.
"Oh so sorry." they would say after they bumped him.
"Oh it's fine." he would reply, still in shock. Then they'd continue, avoiding touching him. They thought it bothered him, no, it bothered him that they couldn't figure it out! He knew that was stupid, cause HE was the one to avoid contact at first.
But he can't take it anymore. He NEEDED to do something about it cause it was about to drive him insane! But he had to make it so that the others wouldn't notice.
Now HE was the one to initiate contact, the nudges, the packs on the back, even hugging the others! He tried to make it gradual so that, one, it would be easier for him to adjust to, and two, the others wouldn't notice.
Oh, but they noticed. It had been an unspoken rule amongst the three: Don't. Touch. Virgil. Because they all noticed the freezing up, widening eyes, and hitching of breath whenever they did touch him. They assumed he hated being touched, after all, he did stay a few inches away from them when they were all together, and HECK, his whole persona just gives an edgy 'don't mess with me vibe'!
So to say the other aspects were surprised at Virgil's mew behaviour would be an understatement. Any time they spotted Virgil initiating contact they were confused. It was such a fundamental thing to them: he was Anxiety, of COURSE he would hate being touched! So, at one point, they were all in the living area while Virgil was in his room.
"Have you guys noticed that Virgil's acting a little different?" Roman asked, breaking their comfortable silence.
"Yeah. Why do you think it is? Why now?" Patton was the first to notice the difference but he never said anything about it.
"I have no clue. I've thought about it but I just can't reach a clear reason." Prince wanted to be the one to figure it out but he couldn't.
"Guys? When Virgil was first manifested did any of us touch him? Like constantly?" Logan interrupted, clearly deep in thought. The other two traits looked at each other, and realized that they haven't.
"Well... No. What does that have to do with anything?" Roman asked, confused.
"It is very possible that Virgil suffers from contact deprivation, or touch starvation. After so many years of him being alone, while we weren't instituting any physical interactions, can leave damaging mental affects." the logical trait explained. While Roman was still confused, Patton looked distraught at the theory.
"I still don't get it, what does that mean?"
"It means, that because we ignored Anxiety for so long, he craves contact. None of us cared to ever touch him, and now he's probably about to go crazy. There's no way Virgil would do this unless he couldn't take it anymore. We made him feel like he couldn't come to us." by the time Patton was done, his eyes were glossy. Everyone felt so bad.
Yes, they did regret treating Anxiety the way they did, but knowing that the emo thought he couldn't come to them for something as simple as a hug, felt... Wrong. They made him feel so alone, it's just so upsetting to realize what other turmoils he didn't share with them. It was their fault. Roman felt the worst. Everything he said to the dark trait was an insult, what kind of prince was he?
"We have to to something!" Prince almost yelled. He had to fix this, while he and Virgil were on better terms, this was so upsetting to him.
"Logan, how can we help him? There has to be something we can do, going through your life without touches isn't a life I'd enjoy." Roman was so fired up, he HAS to help Virgil!
"Well, I believe the best thing we can do for him is have more physical contact. While we can't make up for those years, the more contact he has, the better." The Sides looked at each other. They wanted to help Virgil recover from this mess they had created.
At that moment, they heard Virgil's bedroom door open. They exchanged a knowing and understanding look, and went back to doing what they were doing before. Trying to make it look like they didn't just find the depressing truth about why Virgil wanted to get closer with them.
"Hey, Kiddo! Are you finally done with being in your room? Cause I was thinking that we could all watch a movie, want to join?" Patton threw off Virgil, who was clearly expecting to not be acknowledged, with that.
"Uh, sure, why not?" the emo stuttered, while Patton cheered. After much debate, and everyone finding a comfortable place to sit, they agreed on the Rise of the Guardians movie all sitting side-by-side under a massive blanket.
Virgil, who was sitting between Roman and Patton, felt amazing. Being able to be close for two whole hours, but he reminded himself it wouldn't last; that after this is over, he'd go back to his room, alone.
Both Roman and Patton realized the depth of Virgil's touch starvation at that point. First when Patton sat next to the anxious aspect, he immediately shifted to where they were touching. The dad thought it was endearing, but so sad. The same happened when Princey sat next to Virgil, so that they were both touching him.
During the whole movie, Virgil was scooting closer and closer towards the two, just wanting to feel something. Roman noticed this and, with him being on the end, kept scooting closer so Virgil would go closer to Patton and still be touching him.
It was pretty late, and at some point, Virgil dozed off. While he hardly sleeps at night, the main reason he did was because he's never been more comfortable just close to someone. Patton felt Virgil's head fall on his shoulder, and just smiled sadly, fe felt that he as the dad should've known something like this would happen.
When the movie ended, Logan was the only one still awake. While he understood the damaging mental affects touch starvation could lead to, he just couldn't imagine the emotions behind it. He completely got the concept of Virgil could have this problem, and he did feel regret for being able to prevent the issue and not have, he couldn't fathom how Virgil feels or thinks about it.
And why couldn't he just admit that he needed touch? Why did he wait so long? How could he not come to them for his basic needs? Is he doing this subconsciously or did he dwell and hurt? Logan didn't get it.
None of that matters now, they all could agree that all that matters now is helping Virgil.
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