Dirty Little Secret » Larry AU

PART 32: Retribution

...

I was so angry.

Hell, I was the angriest I had ever been.

That anger boiled inside of me for five days. For five pathetic days, I went around kicking myself for being the biggest arsehole of the entire year. Well, to be fair, it was four days. Because on the first out of those five days, I was only mad at Harry because of how his enraged voice echoed in my head for twenty-four fucking hours. After that day, I let the words sink in and I realised that he had been right all along.

It was my turn to take Niall's role. I didn't eat, I skipped classes and told my mates I was sick. The difference was that I didn't sleep the days away, like Niall had done. Instead, I stayed up nights because my stupid thoughts wouldn't leave me alone. Some nights, I stared at my phone for hours and waited for that particular name to pop up on the screen, but that—obviously—did not happen.

I missed his name.

God, I fucking missed everything about him—and it wasn't even hard to admit that anymore.

After five days of hibernation I finally went to class. Everything felt different. There was a hole in my chest and there was nothing I could focus on other than how much it was aching. English class was nothing like usual, because I couldn't sit and dream about the next time I was going to see him. The breaks were nothing like usual, because I didn't meet up with him and I didn't get to feel his lips against my neck.

What changed everything, was lunch.

Around my table was a happy Caleb, a stressed Elise, a bubbly Adeline, a concerned Niall and...well, me.

Caleb, Elise and Adeline were still completely numb to what was going on. They all thought I had a cold and therefore none of them really seemed to care about how I was simply scraping my food around on the plate with zero appetite. All they did was talk about an upcoming party that I had already decided not to attend. Niall, on the other hand, was desperately trying to sign things to me—but I didn't pay attention.

That was until he kicked me under the table.

I angrily shot my eyes up at him and all he did was point to his phone, indicating for me to look at mine. After swiftly pulling it out of my pocket, I unlocked it to read his message.

NIALL: I don't want to ruin your day, but I think you should take a look at Harry's table.

My heart sped up.

ME: Is he there?

NIALL: Definitely.

ME: What does that mean?

NIALL: Just turn around.

So I did as Niall said—and once my gaze found its way to where the source of my every thought was sitting, I felt as though my body was on the verge of breaking into a million pieces. Right there—in front of everyone—Harry was straight up making out with some guy. Some guy. Some irrelevant guy. He had his arm flung around the guy's neck while his spare hand was flat on his torso. The kiss was not even aggressive. It seemed passionate—and it was even worse when Harry brought his hand to the guy's face, his rings brushing over the pale ass skin.

Fuck. Off.

That lunch break ended quickly. I was feeling nauseous, so I ended up leaving the room (by myself) right after seeing what I saw. Once I reached my locker I realised that my teeth had been grinding together ever since I left my seat—so hard that my jaw was aching. Before even opening up, I slammed my head against the locker door and scrunched my face together in pain. Thankfully, nobody was around, so nobody could notice me sobbing.

My next class consisted of me trying not to throw up onto my laptop. Literally. I felt sick the whole way through because the horrifying image of Harry and that guy kept corrupting and terrorising my head. It felt like a nightmare—and all I wanted to do was wake up. Therefore, I skipped the remaining classes and went outside to get some air.

And of course, the one time I actually decided to go outside, he was there too.

There I was, chilling on a bench with my face buried into my hands when I heard his fucking voice from metres away on the field. After rubbing my eyes I let them flicker up to find him. He was with fucking Parker, Zayn and some fucking girl I recognised from one of my classes. The three of them slouched down on the grass without even noticing my presence.

After five minutes of talking, Harry leaned closer to the girl and whispered something into her ear. The look on her face sent eerie chills over my entire body. My already messy emotions were all over the place as they proceeded whispering, both of them smirking at the sound of each other's words. My body was stiff with anger and I felt like throwing up right there when I watched them strut away together and disappear behind the building.

Behind the fucking building.

That was where he once took me.

What I had ten minutes earlier pictured as a moment to breathe in some fresh air, had quickly turned into a moment to breathe in another load of fucking bullshit. I refused to believe that the man who had cried out his feelings for me only five days earlier had already moved on from his heartbreak. It was impossible.

...

Later that same day I broke my beloved football trophy back in the dorm. Not because I was clumsy or because it had been placed where I didn't see it, but because I threw it into the wall out of rage (Yes, I also made a mark on the wall). After that, I let my first tear of the day fall down my cheek. Like a little kid, I crawled up in bed and snuggled down under my blanket and cried what felt like an actual river. I had never cried so much in my entire life.

The fact that I had told Harry to literally take hit shit and leave was the thing that bugged me the most. It had been a moment of anger, and I would never stop blaming myself for throwing those words at him. I had acted as if I couldn't care less if he were to move on to other people—but of course I cared. Seeing him with others was no longer a reminder of who he had been as a person, it was a reminder of how I had hurt him so bad that he felt the need to plot revenge.

I never wanted to hurt him and I hated the fact that I had to realise that after actually doing it.

I had fucked everything up.

What had been my first school day for the week did not even feel close to a normal school day. There was no cute notes in my locker nor flirty texts in my phone. There were no secret meetings during the breaks or at lunch. There were no cheeky glances or winks through the windows or across the corridors. Instead, everything seemed to have fallen back to how it used to be.

Niall came back to the dorm after having hung out with Caleb and found me shaking in my bed. He instantly crawled up to me, embraced me with both of his arms and gave me all the comfort I needed for at least one minute. But that wasn't enough. It didn't stop me from crying the second river, nor the third, nor the fourth. Nothing could stop it, so I cried myself to sleep with Niall hugging me close in comfort.

...