X Reader Parodies

Tsundere!Miku x Reader

a/n: welcome to the jungle

as always, contains foul language

--

I absentmindedly tapped my pencil against my desk, my gaze fixated on the clock. It was 8th period, and time was dragging on agonizingly slow. Even though only five minutes remained, it seemed like an eternity awaited me.

The teacher droned on and on about some nonsense; nothing that piqued my interest. I finally tore my glare from the clock, searching the room for something to entertain me. My gaze flickered over to the girl that sat next to me, who seemed to be staring a hole in my head. The girl regarded me with scorn, the vexation in her blue-green orbs only seeming to intensify as our eyes met.

I arched my brow, already beginning to grow uncomfortable under her scrutiny. She quickly turned, scribbling something down on a torn piece of notebook paper before sliding it onto my desk hurriedly. I blinked, my gaze falling to the aforementioned paper.

Meet me after class, McBitch.

'Wow, okay, rude,' I thought to myself, my face scrunching up in confusion and disgust as I read the note. What did I ever do to this chick? I'm not even sure if we've ever spoken with each other.

Just as I was about to scribble a response back, the bell rang, chatter following afterwards as students filed out of the room. I stuffed the note into my pocket and grabbed my belongings, preparing myself for whatever hell awaited me. I slid out of the room and scanned the hallway, searching for the teal-haired girl.

I held back the embarrassing yelp that threatened to escape me as a cold hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me into an empty classroom. I whipped around and faced my perpetrator, tearing my hand from their harsh grip.

"Oh, it's just you," I mumbled at the sight of the jerk girl from earlier. She huffed at this, cerulean pigtails bobbing as her shoulders heaved dramatically. 

"I have a name, y'know. Baka."

"And what would that name be?" I sneered, crossing my arms over my chest. I was already done with this conversation.

"Hatsune Miku," She scoffed, her hands finding their way to her hips. "How come you don't know your own seatmate's name? Baka."

"I have a name, too," I sighed, narrowing my eyes. "And it's not baka."

"I already know your name, (Y/N). You baka..." She blushed, her demeanor suddenly turning shy as she trailed off. Jeez, this girl was a mess.

"Whatever," I groaned. "What'd you drag me here for? I just want to go home."

"I just brought you here to address a very important issue," Miku declared, her pride returning once more. She dug her hand into the pocket of her skirt, pulling out a colorful piece of paper. "As you know, the school dance is coming up."

"Oh yeah," I mused, taking the flyer from her. 'SCHOOL DANCE' was scrawled across the top in bold lettering. "I forgot about the dance."

"Of course someone as flighty as you would forget about something as simple as a school dance. Baka," She scoffed and turned her head in disgust. I swallowed the retort that I itched to unleash, instead simply handing the paper back to her.

"What does the dance have to do with anything? Are you on the committee or something?"

"Uh, no, I'm not on the damned committee, baka," She cackled as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "By some unfortunate twist of fate, I have ended up without a date."

"Uh huh," I muttered, arching my brow. Where was she going with this?

"And it just so happens," she began, her face beginning to heat up in a fiery blush, "that I have decided you will have the honor of accompanying me to the dance. IT'S NOT 'CAUSE I LIKE YOU THOUGH! You're just lucky that I chose someone as undeserving as you to--"

"No."

She whipped around to face me, a look of bewilderment crossing her face. "Excuse me?" She stuttered, her expression transforming into one of crestfallenness.

"I don't want to go with your nasty ass to the dance," I barked at her.

"Y-you're rejecting me? Why? I'm great!" She cried, wimpy tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "I love you, (Y/N)-san! You baka!"

"That's great," I sneered, my tone dripping with sarcasm. "I think you love yourself more than anyone else. Just escort your own ass to the dance."

"No, please!" She wailed grossly, dropping to her knees. "Take me to the dance! Baka! BAKA!"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE ANNOYING AS FUCK!"

"BAAAAAKAAAAAA!"

"I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!" I shouted, throwing my hands up in defeat as I exited the room.

"THE PAIN! THE AGONY!" She squawked behind me as I closed the door, her already high-pitched voice becoming more shrill as her tantrum worsened.

I had just began to walk away from the door when the door was kicked down, an angry tealnette emerging.

"DAAAAAAAAAANCE!" She bellowed, lunging for me. I shrieked in alarm, stepping back and watching as she hit the floor with a thud. She made no attempt to get up, however, and I sighed in annoyance.

"What's your problem?"

"I just want to date you so I can abuse you, both physically and mentally," Miku sobbed, curling up on the floor. "Just like all the tsunderes in anime."

I stared down at her for a moment, processing her words. I inhaled deeply, my response short and sweet;

"You're insane."