X Reader Parodies

Ronald McDonald x Reader

a/n: dude what am i even doing anymore why did i think this was a good idea

contains foul language. the ending is pretty gory and morbid too, so watch out for that

(also one teeny tiny sexual joke but we don't talk about that)

this is your final chance to turn back now

--

I stepped into the warmth of the restaurant, inhaling the smell of grease and filth. Only the finest of perfumes are found here. A smile stretched across my face, and I skipped further into the establishment, humming a tune I had heard on the radio earlier. 

I came to a halt at the counter, prepared to recite my order, when a man emerged from the kitchen. Crimson painted my cheeks as I gawked at his features; fluffy, red hair and soulless eyes, his colorful jumpsuit complimenting his pale complexion. I swallowed hard, unable to tear my eyes from the beautiful man that stood a mere 5 or 6 feet away from me.

"Uh, ma'am/sir?" A voice broke me from my thoughts, and I whipped my head towards the source. A timid young boy flinched under my gaze, twiddling his thumbs.

"Um," he muttered, unable to look at me, "Are you ready to order?"

"Oh! Um, yeah," I began, racking my brain for what I had planned to order. "Let's see..."

"You're holding up the damn line!" Someone barked behind me, and a few shouts of agreement followed.

I began to stutter nervously under all of their rage-filled glares; all this negative attention was suffocating!

"Is there a problem here?"

I gasped as I saw the gorgeous man approach the counter, his once seemingly eternal smile dropping from his flawless face.

"N-no, sir!" The cashier boy squawked, attempting to put as much space as possible between the two of them. I could feel the blush returning to my cheeks once more, my entire face burning as the hottie locked eyes with me. He stared blankly at me for a moment, before his smile returned once more, this time resembling that of a smirk.

"Miss, would you come with me?" He purred (wtf), gesturing for me to take his hand. I gulped, extending a shaky hand to grasp his, and soon he whisked me into the kitchen.

The kitchen was bare, and I felt slightly disturbed at the stillness of what was usually a busy area. I mustered up the courage to croak out, "So, uh, w-what's your name?"

He chuckled darkly, placing his gloved hands on my waist. I stiffened, my uneasiness only growing larger as time passed.

"Ronald McDonald. But you can call me McDaddy." He whispered, leaning in closer to me.

A scream ripped from my throat, and I shoved him back with all my might. Ronald shrilled as his body was plunged into the fiery pit, white hot grease soaking him. I watched in horror as his skin began to melt off of his body, pooling onto the floor like hot wax on a candle. He began to dig his fingers into the sockets of his eyes, crying out in agony. Bone was starting to become visible.

"PLEASE!" He wailed, reaching out his hand in desperation. "HELP ME!" But there was no use. It was already too late for him.

I sat and watched as his life slowly escaped him, my sanity leaving along with it.