College Life: Freshman Year

14

Lauren's POV

I know she has been through Hell, but I'm not sure how much longer I can handle being treated this way. I miss the way Normani used to be. She was always so loving and playful. She'd wake me up with kisses and we'd make love to each other every night. Now I'm fortunate if I can even touch her hand. I feel horrible for admitting this to myself, but I've started looking at other girls and I've noticed them looking at me too. I don't want to be with any of them, but it's just nice to know that I have options in case the worst happens. I have a feeling that Normani is going to break up with me. It's only a matter of time.

I know what happened to her isn't her fault, but it isn't my fault either. I don't deserve this. Neither does she.

I start thinking about Fall Quarter and how insignificant it all seems now that Normani and I have faced so much as a couple. Our biggest problem was once waiting for me to turn 18. We had already started rounding the bases early in our "relationship" or whatever arrangement we had at the time. We had made out and groped each other for hours on end, but it always seemed to stop there. We wanted each other bad, really bad. Sex was all we could think about, especially because we were so eager to experience it for the first time, but we had one little problem. I was still 17 and Normani was 18 and she said that she wouldn't feel right if we didn't wait until I turned 18. It was such a noble thing to do and I hated her for it. Thank goodness my birthday was only a few days away. I remember the weather was still warm and Normani would strut around in these cute little mini skirts and tank tops. Was it really that hot outside or was she just showing off her body so I'd know what I had to look forward to? Regardless, at the stroke of midnight on my 18th birthday, Normani came barging into my room, flashing a hotel room key.

"Lauren! I'm ready. I've been waiting ten extremely long days for you to turn 18 and I can't wait any longer."

"But I haven't packed any clothes or anything," I told her, amused at her desperation.

"Trust me, you aren't going to need them. Let's go! Let's go!"

It wasn't exactly the romantic moment I was hoping for, but the mood changed when we got to the room and lost our virginity to each other. Normani was right; it really did bring us closer together. I wonder if this is one of the stories we'll be telling our children someday. That is, if our relationship lasts long enough for us to have children.

That's the Normani I miss.

As I look at my engagement ring, it dawns on me that the Normani who rejected me today is the same Normani who couldn't wait for me to turn 18. Her personality is different, but she is still the same Normani. Besides, isn't one of the perks of marrying your college sweetheart the fact that you get to grow up together? Normani barely turned 19. She's going to go through so many changes in her life. We both are. I want to honor the commitment I made to her. I want to be there for her no matter what happens. She's going to be my wife. For better or worse…

I have to see Normani. She needs to know she isn't alone in this. As I leave the room, I see Normani sitting next to my door with her head in her hands. How long has she been out here?

"Lobear," she says faintly as she motions for me to sit next to her.

Carlos broke her spirit and left her to pick up the pieces by herself. He made her so fragile, so dependent. If only there was a way I wouldn't get caught for…No, Lauren, don't even think about it. That's not going to help Normani.

She holds up the golden key necklace I gave her for Valentine's Day. "Does this still work?" she asks me with tears in her eyes.

"It always does, Normani," I tell her as I hold her close. "You're the only one with the key to my heart."

"I don't want to fight anymore."

"Neither do I."

"Lauren, I'm sorry."

"For what, babe?"

"I'm sorry that he ruined me for you. You deserve so much better."

"I already have the best," I tell her.

I don't care how many of her outbursts I will have to endure while she is healing. Normani Hamilton, my fiancé, is worth it.