College Life: Freshman Year

17

Normani's POV

Naturi took me to the store so I could buy one of those home pregnancy tests. It was all so embarrassing. People kept staring at me and why shouldn't they? They don't know I was raped. All they see is that I'm an unmarried teenage girl holding a pregnancy test. I swear I'm not the slut everyone thinks I am. I was a virgin up until six months ago. Other than that asshole who violated me, I've only had sex with one person, my Lauren, the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want Lauren to come back. She'd know how to make me feel better.

While we were at the store, some frat guy buying a six-pack saw me with the test kit and mouthed the word "slut" to me. To his misfortune, Naturi witnessed the whole thing. She took matters into her own hands and punched the guy right in the nose. He bled like crazy and Naturi started laughing hysterically as he ran out of the store crying. My sister has a really dark and demented sense of humor and I love her dearly for it.

The results of the home test were positive, but Naturi said that those tests aren't always accurate and I should go to the doctor to have the results confirmed. That was three days ago, three days in which I have been crying and thinking of what I'm going to do and, most importantly, if I should tell Lauren.

I didn't want to go see a doctor by myself, so Naturi and Zendaya went with me. I wish Choie could have gone as well, but she is still in Cancun with her sorority. Damn this spring break. If not for spring break, Lauren would be here. She could have gone with me and held my hand during the whole process. She would have kissed me and told me that everything is going to be okay. That is, if I told her what was happening.

When I went to the doctor, she confirmed my worst nightmare. I'm four and a half weeks pregnant with Carlos' baby. What am I supposed to do? I definitely can't keep it. Lauren and I are getting married in a few months and I can't force this kind of responsibility on her. Her and I will be 19 when the baby is born. We'll only be sophomores. Sophomores. She should be worried about her grades and what sorority she should join. She shouldn't have to deal with the responsibilities of having a wife and a baby. But what if she wants to keep it? Am I ready to be a mom? Financially, I am, but I'm not sure about emotionally or physically. If I get an abortion, she doesn't have to know. I can just pretend that this never happened.

This moment is awkward enough without Zendaya and Naturi flirting with each other on the couch in Naturi's living room. Seriously, these two are pathetic. I want to tell them to just kiss each other and get it over with.

"Zendaya," I interrupt. "You're like a sister to Lauren. How do you think she'll react to this?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Lauren's a kid herself. I'm not sure she would know how to raise one. And Normani, you're her fiancé, nobody knows her better than you do."

"Normani, cut the crap, seriously," Naturi tells me. "It's your body. In the end, it's all up to you, not Lauren. Lauren is your fiancé, but she doesn't own you. You need to do what's best for Normani, not what's best for Lauren."

"I agree with Naturi," Zendaya says.

"You do?" Naturi blushes.

I smile for the first time today. "Why don't you two just kiss each other and get it over with? Lauren and I think you two are perfect for each other! You could be like us!"

"No offense," Zendaya tells me, "but I really don't want my first relationship to be like yours and Lauren's. You two are the kind of couple that would die without each other. You're so co-dependent."

"No, we're not! We haven't seen each other in six days and we're fine."

"The hell you are, Normani." Naturi teases. "You two have been on the phone with each other for three hours each day that she's been gone, just to hear each other's voices. The last fifteen minutes of the conversation, you two always argue about who loves each other more and who should hang up first. 'No, you hang up first. No, you hang up first.' Oh and let's not forget my favorite one, 'You're cuter. No, you're cuter.'

Zendaya starts laughing. "Aww, it's puppy love. That's so adorable."

"Puppy love? Lauren and I are getting married. You've never even had a girlfriend, Zendaya."

"I've never wanted one until—"

"Until you met Naturi?" I tease.

"I don't think I've ever hated you this much, Normani," Zendaya tells me.

"Well, bitches, it's time for me to go," my sister says. "I'm meeting with my photographer today. Normani, don't stress yourself out about this. We'll talk more when I get back in a couple hours. Just make yourself at home, okay? I love you, Twin 2."

"I love you, Twin 1."

"Bye, Zendaya," my sister says. "I'll see you around, I guess."

"Naturi, wait!" Zendaya says. I can tell she's nervous. Please, Zendaya, don't say something stupid. Naturi really likes you and she's been hurt way too many times in the past.

"What's up?"

"As Lauren has probably told you, I've slept with over 100 girls since I've started college," Zendaya tells my sister. I can see Naturi's shocked expression. "…but ever since I saw you at Choie's house, I haven't done so much as think about another girl because I felt like I'd be cheating on you if I did. And I know it's too soon for us to be in a relationship, but I'd really like to see where this can take us. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. I want to get to know everything about you. I've never felt this before."

My sister presses her lips to Zendaya's. Finally. Zendaya, the wet dream of nearly every lesbian and bisexual girl on this campus, is actually crushing on a girl.

Naturi pulls back from the kiss. "I'm doing a photo shoot here Sunday afternoon, do you want to come watch?"

"I'd love to come." She says quickly. "I mean, I'd love to come and watch. That's what I meant."

My sister lets out an uncharacteristic little giggle. "You can do both."

As soon as Naturi leaves, I decide to tease Zendaya.

"You two are so cute together!"

"We're not even together, Normani. Shut up."

"You're going to be my sister-in-law someday."

"Oh, somebody please shoot me now," she teases. "Normani, your sister is such a little minx. She drives me crazy. I like that she always keeps me guessing. No girl has ever done that. They've all been so easy. It got boring, you know? Do you really think she likes me?"

"Zendaya, you're so bad at this! My sister kissed you and invited you to watch her photo shoot in which she is going to be completely naked. I think that means she likes you very much. Now you can double date with me and Lauren! Let's do something Sunday night?"

"No, that's so cheesy."

"Please," I start pouting.

"Fine, but only because you've had a crappy day."

I hug Zendaya tightly. "You gave in to me."

"I can always take it back," she teases. "So, Mani, is this how you feel about Lauren? Like, she's all you think about? All you dream about?"

I nod. "Take that feeling and multiply it by 100. That is how I feel about Lauren."

"Normani, you need to tell her."

"I want to, but I'm afraid."

"Don't be. If you two love each other as much as I think you do, you'll work it out. She can help you with this more than anyone else can."

"Okay, I'll tell her."