College Life: Freshman Year

20

Lauren's POV

It has been less than 24 hours since Normani told me about her pregnancy and I'm trying my hardest not to let our situation get too awkward. By some miracle, we were able to enroll in the same classes for this quarter, but now I find myself wondering if that was a good idea. On our way to class, she grabbed my hand and I made her let go. I told her I didn't want people staring at us, but what I really wanted was for her not to touch me regardless of where we were. I understand that it's her body and her decision, but I wish she wouldn't have gotten my hopes up about this. Normani doesn't understand how much I want this baby. She just sees this baby as Carlos' and not ours. After we left Naturi's apartment, she told me that this was something she had to do because she couldn't see herself loving him or her. Normani thinks that every time she'd look at this baby, she'd be reminded of what happened that night. I can't say that I blame her, but this is something I know I can help her through. She wouldn't be on her own; she'd have me, but apparently I'm just not good enough for her.

Although the school day was awkward, it went by quickly. The first day of each quarter always does. Usually, professors just explain the syllabus and we're on our way out. Normani, of course, had her glasses on and was meticulously taking notes, perfectly organized, color-coded notes to be exact. Ordinarily, I think it's cute when Normani does that, but today I was annoyed. I hate that she has to be so damn perfect all the time. She needs to understand that it's okay for life to be chaotic and unpredictable at times. Now I know why Sasha calls her the Ice Queen. I never wanted to understand that nickname, but I actually do now. Normani is an Ice Queen and now I'm not so sure if I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't even take into consideration what I want.

The only thing that will keep me sane is finding a life and interests outside of Normani. Never would I have imagined myself as the type who'd attend a sorority's Rush Week events, but Zendaya talked me into it. She's the president of Gamma Pi Delta or "G-Pi" as she calls it. Monique and Jennifer are also on the executive board, and Sasha is Rush Chair. Plus, my suitemates Belinda and Karafina are also in it. I told Sarafina that I was going to be a Rushee and she literally jumped for joy. "Lauren, we're going to be sisters!" she told me. Belinda added, "We're going to get you so fucked up, like every day and we can have matching suitemate G-Pi sweatshirts!" Monique and Jennifer said it's not about the drugs or the partying, it's more about finding a niche on campus and forming a close-knit bond with your sisters. Then Zendaya added that that's all bullshit and she originally joined for the purpose of drinking and getting laid, a goal that she obviously achieved.

I wanted to tell Normani about Rushing, but I know she'd complain about the sorority taking time away from her. It's always about Normani. As I'm about to leave her dorm, she finally decides to talk to me.

"You look cute. Where are you going?"

"Out," I reply.

"What time are you coming back, babe?"

"Can't say. Don't wait up for me."

I walk upstairs to my dorm to meet Sarafina and Belinda who are going to walk me over to the Rush event.

"I'm excited, Lauren. Are you excited?" Belinda asks.

"Yeah," I respond.

"What did you just say?"

"I said I'm fucking stoked!" I tell her.

"That's what I want to hear, bitch." Belinda says as she gives me a hug and a quick shot of vodka.

After four more shots, I finally start to feel relaxed. Before I started college, Laurenzo told me what Rush is like for girls. "They judge your hair, your clothes, your make-up, and how pretty you are," he said. I asked about personality and he started laughing at me. "You're a sweet girl, Lauren. They'd eat you alive." Sarafina and Belinda promise me that this sorority isn't like that so I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.