The Business Trip

Spilling Secrets

There was a knock on the door. "Katie?"

I didn't answer.

"Katie? Please come out baby. Please."

I didn't answer even though he called me baby. I am a fuck-up. I didn't deserve to meet the man of my dreams. I screw everything up. I ruined my dad's love life. My mom killed herself because she couldn't bear to take care of a fucked-up waste of space like me. I was 3 and a half weeks clean so I didn't have my blade. I got up, made sure the door was locked, and started looking for a razor, some scissors or something.

I finally found a crappy hotel razor. Perfect. I smashed the plastic against the countertop. There was a loud snapping sound and I flinched, hoping Niall hadn't heard. When I dadin't hear his voice I sighed and put the blade to my skin. Maybe he didn't care like I thought he did. I made a swipe on my wrist. A burst of pain and a bubble of blood followed. An instant burst of relief fleeted through me, but all to soon it disappeared, intensifying the need. Only a couple more cuts. I told myself, then I will be okay. 5 slices later, there's a knock on the door. It startles me so much I almost drop the blade. 

"Katie?" Niall's voice rings clearly through the door. He must be right up against the door.

I don't reply.

"Katie, I know you're in there, please come out."

I still don't say anything.

"Katie I'm warning you, all the guys are out here, they will break down the door if you don't come out."

No! No, no, no! They can't all see me like this. I can't let them. "Fine, I'll come out. just give me a second, and everyone but Niall leave."

To my satisfaction, I heard muffled footsteps and a door shutting as I stow the blade and try to wash the blood off my wrist.

"Alright, they're gone. Please come out." Niall says through the door.

I yank my sleeves roughly back down and glance in the mirror. I look like shit. My eyes are puffy from crying and my hair is tangled and limp. Oh well. If I'm in here much longer Niall will get the boys again.

I tentitively open the door and peer around it. Niall is staring at me from the bed.

"C'mere babe." He opens his arms.

Without thinking, I rush into his embrace. He hugs me for awhile until he pulls away.

He looks straight into my eyes. "We need to talk."

"I know." I match his gaze.

"Want to do it in pajamas?"

"Yeah, but I kinda didn't grab any when I left my room in a wave of angry fury and I can't go back to get any."

"That's fine. You can borrow some of mine."

"Uh-o-okay." He smiles and goes to his suitcase.

"Boxers or sweats?" He asks.

Thankfully, his back is to me so he doesn't see the deep shade of red I'm surely turning. "W-whatever's f-fine." I manage to spit out.

Probably sensing my uncomforableness he hands me a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. "You can change in the bathroom. If you'll come out again, that is."

"I promise I will." I tell him, not really wanting to change out here.

"I'll hold you to that." He playfully warns as I hurry to the bathroom and shut the door not bothering to lock it. I trust Niall, I have to to tell him what I'm going to.