Love in Healing

Chapter 3

She was sitting outside on the porch when he showed up. He had prayed and had himself a very big pep talk before he left the house and on his way over he had felt strong, as if he could see her and not react. But now seeing her sitting with her feet curled beneath her and her long limbs bare due to the denim shorts she was wearing he was not so sure.

She had a tablet in her hand and looked up as she heard the gate opened. She had been so engrossed in whatever she was doing that she had not heard his old Nissan pulled up outside the gate. She looked up and her smile came as she saw him. "Hi Pastor," she waved him in. "I did not expect to see you."
"I told you I would be stopping by." he had brought her some tulips and a box of cookies. "I am not sure if these are your flowers and I got these delicious oatmeal cookies from one of the ladies at church. I decided to share."

She uncoiled her long legs and made space for him on the porch swing. "I love tulips and I have not had oatmeal cookies in ages. Thanks." she took them from him and placed the cookies on an old wooden table next to her. "I tend to stay away from things that pack on the weight but now I have no reason to do so."

He looked at her swiftly trying to gauge her reaction. "I have a feeling that your weight will remain the same."

"Thank you for that." she got to her feet. "I will go and put these in some water. How about some coffee to go with those cookies?"

"That's actually a good idea." he tried not to watch as she went inside but he could not help doing so. he had seen her walk on the runway and always thought she had the most suggestive walk he had ever seen. like smoky sex! the thought came unbidden to his mind and he had to get rid of it!

He took the Bible out of the satchel he had brought with him and thumbed through it aimlessly. he was supposed to be comforting her and letting her know that Jesus knows her pain and wants to be there for her. He had to take his emotions out of it!

He jumped a little as she came out back with a tray and placed it on the table. "You okay?" she asked him curiously as she handed him a steaming cup of coffee.

"Yes thank you."
"I don't know how you take it. I like my black."
"So do I." he took a cookie and nibbled. "How are you?"

"I am okay, I guess." she shrugged and leaned back on the cushions. "I spoke to my sister and for the first time in years we are actually getting close so I guess that's something."
"Family is important."
"Are you close with your sister?"

"We are. She is nosy and wants to check up on me all the time but I love her." he said with a gentle smile. Chandra stared at him. he really was quite handsome! His blue eyes met hers and held and for a moment everything stood still. The chirping of the birds in the trees surrounding them were ignored. The warm sunshine touching their skins and the smell of flowers blooming were all lost on them as something indefinable passed between them. he broke the spell as he placed the cup of coffee on the table in front of his, his hands trembling. "I am sorry-" he got to his feet and so did she.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go." he had to leave or else he was going to pull her into his arms and kissed her and then there would be no turning back from that!

"You just got here."

"I cannot do this," he whispered as he stared down at her. She had on a cotton blouse and he could see inches of her flawless coffee and cream complexion. he wanted to taste her, he wanted to be with her int he worst possible way and in his line of duty that was not allowed!

"Do what exactly?"

"be here with you." he said hoarsely. "I am sorry."
He could not stop himself. Right there on the porch in broad daylight he reached for her. Gary had been a minister for so many years and had been able to control his urges because they had never been this strong. He was surrounded by eager young women who wanted to be a pastor's wife and he had been able to gently but firmly deflect their advances but not this time. He pulled her into his arms and after a startled look up at him she melted into him. She had felt it too, the emotions that had passed between them. His lips touched hers and it was as if an inferno had opened up between them! Gary touched his tongue to hers and her arms went around his neck as he brought her closer to him, his arms tight around her small waist! Chandra felt the passion washed through her slender body and her fingers dug into his neck as she shuddered against him. She had been kissed several times before and had had a brief affair with a male model some years but nothing felt like this!

Somehow he found the strength to put her away from him. His body felt like a molten ball of flame and if he did not stop he was going to take her inside and damned the consequences but he could not do that! he stood there staring at her, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "I am so sorry," his tone was agonized.

"I am not," she whispered as she touched her lips slowly.

"I have to go." he grabbed up his Bible and shoved it into the satchel. "Please forgive me. It won't happen again."

He practically ran from down the steps and into the car with Chandra staring after him!

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He went straight to the chapel where he was the pastor. it was Wednesday morning and fasting services would be starting soon but he was in no condition to conduct the service. He had done the unthinkable! he had kissed a woman and had thought about having sex with her and that had no place in the life he led. He parked the car and sat there at the neatly trimmed hedges. His house was several feet away from the chapel but he did not want to go there, he had to pray for forgiveness and he had to find a way to deal with what he was feeling! he closed his eyes as he unwittingly felt her lips on his. She had felt so right in his arms! With a defeated groan he opened the door and headed to the chapel. he had some praying to do!