Love in Healing

Chapter 3 (Continued)

He tortured himself! All night he was either pacing the length of his small bedroom or he was praying and asking the Lord to take away his desire. he was not fit to stand in front of the congregation he had been chosen to lead to tell them about right and wrong. He had a raging desire for a woman who was totally unsuitable!

It was Thursday and it was his day for visitations to the hospitals and he had a meeting with the ladies of the church who were planning to have a cook off to raise some money for the children going back to school in September. He rolled off the bed and grabbing a robe to cover his nakedness he went to the window to stare out at yard. He had not told Chandra the entire truth about him, no one knew the whole truth about him and he had preferred to keep it to himself. He had not been raised in a middle class home but one of wealth and luxury. His grandfather owned estate all over the country an had left the entire thing to him and his sister, But there was a condition attache to the will. They were to have children before they turned thirty or everything went to charity. He was not quite there yet and his sister was two years away from it but somehow they did not seem to be able to find the right person. She was busy with her career and both of them refused to be dictated by their grandfather's money. He had been a tyrant when he was alive and had been determined to run their lives! Gary ran agitated fingers through his ash blond hair and closed his eyes in anguish. His mother had taught him values and morals and that had kept him throughout period of his life when he would have gone the other way. Grandfather had not left her anything in his will because he had not approved of his son marrying a woman who did did not come from money. That had made it even worse where he and his sister were concerned and they had said that they wanted no part of the inheritance. Their mother had sat them down and told them gently that they should not allow him to win. "Your grandfather had no idea what he was doing my darlings. He was full of hate and prejudices and it ruled his entire life. He had a lot of money and yet he was never happy. Don't be like him."

Gary heaved a troubled sigh and went into the kitchen to get some coffee. Somehow he had to find the strength to get through this!

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Chandra stared at herself in the mirror, her whiskey colored eyes thoughtful and contemplative. She had not slept very well last night and it was not due to the usual problems. She kept feeling his mouth on hers and the emotions that he had stirred up inside her. She had grown up in church. Their parents had made sure that they attended services every Sunday and during the week. They had believed in growing up a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord and had stuck by it. There had been times when she had resented going! Getting up every Sunday morning at seven to get ready to reach the chapel for eight a.m. service and then sitting through Sunday school where the teacher would give them regular quizzes. She had told herself that she could not wait to get out of the sleepy little town and make her name in big cities and that when she did she was never coming back here! She had come full circle, she thought wryly. She had ended up right back where she had said she was never coming back! She had been quiet when Caroline ha come home last evening and when she had asked about Pastor visiting she had tried to answer casually.

Now that Caroline had gone for the day and she was alone she had time to think. she had stopped calling her agent after she realized that the woman was avoiding her. She had been doing a lot of thinking and realized that Caroline was right. She had been working nonstop without taking a vacation ever since she got started and it was time to take a break and do some soul searching. She missed modeling and going all over the place. The experience she had garnered was awesome and could never be replaced but now it was time to take stock of her life. She had told Caroline that she would be driving down to Manhattan to pack her things and have someone keep an eye on the place for her. She was going to do a little puttering around in the garden and her sister had told her that the church had an active drive to get money for the children going to school. She was ashamed to realize that she had never once sent back money to help in any way. She had left her neighborhood and never given back to it. She had been bent on buying the clothes, the fast cars, the jewelries and going on yachts with her so called rich friends who had not once called her since the accident! Now it was time to give back! she raised trembling fingers to her lips and closed her eyes as she remembered his lips on hers. He was a pastor and she was a woman of the world. Never the twain shall meet!

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"I am dying Pastor," Sister Eula raised a trembling hand to the vibrant handsome man sitting next to her bed. "I am dying and I cannot wait to go and sit and rest with my Jesus. I am ready but my husband is not. I am asking you to talk to him for me."
"How long have you two been married," Pastor Gary asked her gently as he took her wrinkled hand in his. She had stomach cancer and the treatments were not working. The doctors had told the family that she had about three months to live.

"Fifty-two years," she said with a whimsical smile. "We met right here in this town and after we got married he had to go off to war. I spent nights praying for him and the others and missing him sorely and rejoicing when he came home. We were never able to have kids but the good Lord knew best and we never let that bother us or get in the way of our love for each other. I want him to be okay with me going home to our Savior."
"He is not going to be okay with that I am afraid. You have something that is rare and I thank God that the institution of marriage is not dead."

"It is not," she squeezed his hands gently. "I am hoping that you will find a nice young woman to love the way God intends."

"I hope so," his mind flitted to Chandra and he pushed the thought of her away impatiently.

"None of those eager young ladies in the church are right for you. You need someone who will challenge you and be there for you all the way."

"I am sure the Lord will provide someone."
"He will."

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"What on earth are you doing?" Caroline exclaimed as soon as she entered through the gates. Her sister was crouched down and was busy digging with a trowel. She had put on a large floppy straw hat to shield herself from the glaring sunlight. It was approaching six but the summer sun was still high in the sky.

"I am picking up where Mom left off," she flopped down on her butt on the dried up grass and stretched her legs out to work the kinks out of them. "This is hard work."

"It sure is," Caroline pulled up one of the lawn chairs and sat, placing her briefcase next to her. "Why are you doing it?"
"Gardening is therapeutic and I need therapy." she grinned wryly. She had found some old denims in her sister's closet and was wearing a designer t-shirt. "Besides the place needs work."
"I was planning to get Tim to come and do some weeding."

"No need. I am here at loose ends."

"Okay don't start again." Caroline said getting to her feet.
"Why?"

"I am not going to allow you to do this all by yourself. I am going to change and make us some ice cold lemonade and we do it together."
"Good." Chandra called after her. She smiled and squinted her eyes up at the brilliant sun. It was going to be fine!