Love in Healing

Chapter 11 (Continued)

"Come with me to services," Caroline said suddenly as she took away the breakfast dishes and placed them inside the sink. It was three weeks since she had come home from the hospital and she was on the mend. There were still marks on her face but they were faded and she still looked beautiful. The papers had been filled with her attack and the fact that she had made the trip to make a statement against him. There was a spread about Luigi and how he was a beautiful face with an insecure background. Reporters had been calling and asking for an exclusive interview which she had firmly refused.

"They will be staring at me the entire time," Chandra told her sister.

"So let them stare! You are used to people staring at you anyway."
"When I am on the runway. That's a good stare." Chandra said wryly.

"They have been here to see you honey so it is not like they don't know what is going on." Caroline reminded her.

"Except him."
"So go and see what his reaction will be."

"I can't."
"Chan you are going to face him eventually." Caroline had been her rock since she had been at home and she had told her that she did not deserve it.

"I am ashamed," Chandra admitted finally. "I can face everyone else looking at me except him."

"He is not going to judge you. That's not who he is. Come with me."

******************************

His heart slammed hard inside his chest when he looked up and saw her coming up the aisle! He was in the middle of his sermon when she walked in with her sister. He almost thought he was imagining her being there! He stopped and had no idea what to say next as he stared at her. It was as if they were the only two people in the small chapel as their eyes met and held. Members of the congregation had been to see her and had reported to him but he had not been to see her. Somewhere someone made a sound and it broke the spell and allowed him to continue. He deliberately refrained from looking at her and finished the sermon about 'Loving Thy Neighbor'. he stepped back and sat in his chair as the choir took over and sung the closing hymn. His hands were clenched tightly in his lap as he stole glances at her. She was wearing a beautiful ash grey dress that looked as if it had been made especially for her and it probably had been. She had been through so much but she still managed to look as if she had just stepped from the page of a magazine. Her curls were brushed back severely and caught in a bun at the nape of her neck. She had large silver hoops in her lobes and her face was almost devoid of makeup.

He got to his feet and said how happy he was to see her in the congregation. His voice sounded stilted and unsure but he could not help it.

He made his way to the front and braced himself for the time when he had to greet her but she spared him the torture straight to the breakfast room with her sister and some of the women. he made his escape to his small office as quickly as he could and closed the door behind him, his body trembling violently! He went straight to the little cabinet he had in the office and poured himself a measure of whiskey, gulping it down rapidly, almost choking as it hit his throat and then his stomach. He had just finished the glass and gone to his desk when he heard the knock on the door.

"Come in," he called out.

He stiffened as he saw who came in.

"I was not sure I should find you." she began as she stood there by the closed door. "I was not sure how to face you."
"I am happy to see you are on the mend." he remained seated because if he got to his feet he was not sure he could help himself rushing to her!

"Thanks," her whiskey colored eyes which had haunted his every waking and sleeping moments stared at her. "How are you?"
"I am blessed."

"Gary I am sorry." she whispered.

"So am I," he told her stiffly.

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"You did what you had to do."

"I made a mistake."
"What are you saying?"
"I walked out on you and look what happened to me."

"And we are supposed to learn from our mistakes. I am sure you have done so."

"I hurt you so much-"
"We are past that now," he smiled at her slightly. "Would you excuse me? I have some paperwork to finish up."

"I was hoping that-"
"What exactly were you hoping for Chandra?"

"That we could talk."
"About what? The fact that you broke me with your goodbye? That you allowed that prick to touch you? To hurt you? That I would have died rather than lift a finger to hurt you and you chose him? Was that what you wanted to talk about?" He rasped, his control breaking, his blue eyes glittering. Chandra stared at the man she had formerly thought of as gentle! She had never seen him like this before!

"I am sorry," she whispered.

"Please leave." he told her wearily, pushing long fingers through his ash blonde hair.

"Gary," she approached the desk. "You will never know how sorry I am. I messed up and I am paying for it."
"You are not the only one."

"I know." she stood there next to his desk and stared at him. He had lost weight, she thought with a pang. His face was all angles and planes and there was a deep sadness etched into his expression. The hurt had gone too deep and he was not ready to forgive her yet. "I am so sorry."
"I am sure you are." his looks said it all and she knew she had been dismissed. "I am not going anywhere."

He watched her leave and closed the door behind her. He blinked the tears away from his eyes and straightening his shoulders he tackled the work before him.

**************************************

She was quiet on the way home. Caroline glanced at her every few minutes. She had seen her disappeared when she was talking to the ladies and knew she had gone to find him. But she had come back looking as if someone had killed her dog!

"How did it go?"

Chandra turned her head to look at her sister. "He is so angry."
"What do you expect?" Caroline asked her gently seeing the agonized expression on her sister's beautiful face.

"He does not even want to hear from me." she sighed a little and then turned back to the window. It was the height of summer and the sun was a brilliant back splash against the dozens of flowers in bloom. It was her favorite time of the year but here she was recovering from a beaten a man had given her and having her heart crush by a man that she had come to love! She gasped silently and her eyes widened. She loved him! Oh God! she loved him and she had ran away because she had tried to avoid it. She had thought she was better than he was! He was not in her league and she had ran away from him! But she loved him and God help her she had hurt the only man she loved. She had gone thousands of miles to escape a love that could have been hers! Now she had no idea what to do!

"He will. I know you honey. You never give up!"