FOUND II [COMPLETED]

XXXI

Blue

"I want to go home."

I was standing outside by the balcony, where my dad was sitting and smoking a cigar. He hadn't spoken to me much since the news about.... yeah. He hasn't spoken to Mathew either. He's just been isolating himself, either smoking or drinking. I know he's going through it, but this isn't helping me at all. I'm sad too, I'm beyond sad, and confused, but I shouldn't be responsible for taking care of my father.

Plus I'm tired of being stuck out here on this island. This vacation has turned into a nightmare, and now I'd much rather be back home with my family. I want to know how my grandma and aunts and cousins are doing, because I'm sure this is hitting everyone hard, but I have no way of communicating with them. I don't even know if the media knows about this yet. I'm so isolated from the world, and while that may be my dad's cup of tea, it's definitely not mine.

"Are you even listening?" I asked annoyed. My dad didn't say anything, just kept inhaling and exhaling smoke. I felt myself getting angry and blew my breath before reaching for his cigar.

"Don't touch my shit." He warned after grabbing my wrist.

"Don't touch my shit." I mocked while rolling my eyes. He popped me in the mouth and I groaned. "Ow!"

"Smart ass. The hell is wrong with you?" My dad shook his head and let me go. "Go inside."

I shook my head. "I don't want to go inside, I want to go home. I'm tired of being here. I want my family."

He scoffed and took another puff. "What family?" He grunted. Ok, so it's clear he's still in his feelings. Rightfully so I guess, but come on, why is he coming at me?  All I'm asking is to go home. I mean honestly, who would want to stay on a secluded island with their depressed father and absentee grandfather? Not me.

"Daddy, I just wanna go home. Please." I pleaded. "I know you're sad, I am too, but–"

"You don't know how I feel." My dad said cutting me off. I frowned and cocked my head to the side.

"Um, yes I kinda do. I lost my mom and my siblings. I'm going through the same thing you are." I retorted.

My dad started shaking his head fast and slammed his fist down. "No! Shit, you don't understand Blue. Go inside."

I heard his voice quiver and sighed. I don't think I've ever seen my dad cry, aside from when we were told about my mom and siblings. But that was the only time. He tries to be so hard all the time, doesn't he get tired?

"Can we just–"

"GET THE FUCK INSIDE!" My dad yelled. He stood up so fast that his chair fell back. I didn't move because I was kinda shook by his reaction and he grabbed me by my shoulders and started shaking me.

"WHY CANT YOU JUST FUCKIN LISTEN? YOU'RE SO DAMN HARD HEADED SOMETIMES, SHIT!"

"Stoppp!" I yelled. He was gripping me too tight. It hurt. "You're hurting me!" I cried.

"Shut the fuck up!" My dad growled. I could smell the liquor in his breath, so I knew he wasn't just smoking, he'd also been drinking. "I lost everything! Everything! This is all your fucking fault! You messed this up, being a stubborn ass kid and making us send your ass to Texas. They would've never gotten on that plane. It's all you."

"That's not true." I cried.

Was it? Is this my fault?