The girl behind the piano.

~ Chapter 17.

I have to find him, I have promised it, to myself and to Dustin. There is a part in me that is struggling over this feeling again and again. That's not a negative thing, I am just afraid for his reaction. He has every right to be mad on me. That’s what makes me frightened. But I just hope he somehow will forgive me. He doesn't have to forget, but I hope he will be able to give me his trust back. Because I love him. I have had a conversation with Dustin this morning, which made me on one hand regretting I came to him on the first place and love that I came to him on the other hand. Regretting, because I was stupid yesterday night, and boy and I am embarrassed. And loving it, because he helped me out of this mess. I haven't gone home after leaving Dustin, because I was determined to find Ryan, even though the chances that I find him are small.

I am cooking a small and delicious breakfast. Already up for an hour or so, Dustin isn't though. I have no idea how I should face him, I had done something that could break our friendship. Even though I was a little drunk, I can still remember all the things that happened. The kiss. I feel sick about the fact I had forced my lips on his like that. Even when I had noticed how he was hiding something about his love life for me. I am sure I do not include his love life, so it has to be something about his regular life. I wish he could trust me to let it go, so I could help him.

I jumped a little when I heard a door close behind me. I know who it is, but now the fear he would let me go, grew bigger. I didn't dare to look around.

"Scarlett." His voice betrayed him, his husky voice, he probably just woke up.

I doubted to turn around or not, but I have to once, so I just did. "Good morning." My voice barely a whisper. "I'm sorry."  I didn't blurt it out, I said it, because I wanted this unknown silent between us to remain unknown.

"It's fine." He smiled, which made me notice his sexy smile for the first time. "It won't happen again." The last parts is deadly serious. "But I have to admit that you were pretty funny."

"How do you do that!?"  I asked amazed.  

"Do what?" He put his hands in the air, like he is innocent.

"My heart sank when you said 'It won't happen again', like you wouldn't want to see me ever again. And then you say 'You were funny'. How can you be serious that quickly and then so... so relaxed." I stated it, I didn't ask.

"Just my thing." He shrugged his shoulders.

I got back in reality when I heard a horse snigger. My eyes had been open the hole time, but I hadn't been paying attention to much. I looked around quickly, but still not realizing what I had just heard. I had heard a horse. A horse. Ryan.. When my eyes had spotted the horse, I saw an young gentleman standing next to him. He strongly reminds me of Ryan. I can see he is busy with the horse and I didn't get the impression he had seen me, so I decided to leave. But right at that moment my legs decided to betray me, I nearly stumbled over an branch I had barely noticed. Luckily there was a big tree right next to me, so I managed to hold my balance on it. When I took the moment in me, I felt strong hands gripping my waist.