Bound: Toxic Love (Book 2)

Chapter XL

Lana's POV

My body felt numb while walking.. Each step I took was followed by a shivering anxiety pumping through my veins.. My mind seemed to be able to focus only on one thing. If I was going to be able to pull it off.

The large metal gates opened before me. My heart stopped in my chest for a moment. Walking through those gates has never been a bigger challenge for me.

The gray clouds hung from the sky like they were ready to relief themselves by pouring down the rain.. The light was annoyingly bright still and I constantly squeezed my eyes.. It made the picture before me seem black and white almost..

  The grass was no longer green like it was, the driveway no longer wide as it was.. The fountain in the middle wasn't working and the whole garden seemed smaller, like it was closing up on me.

For the first time in my life, going home felt like a challenge rather than a relief. The thought of having to provide the plan I insisted on now made me nauseous.. It sickened me to think I felt guilty for loving the man I was with.. I hated having to explain myself for that.

  I wasn't ready to face my father yet.. No, not him, nor my paranoid mother. I wished to see Marco and Jack, but then the bare thought of Alexander made me sick in the stomach, and I could've thrown up right there..

  I hated having to feel anxious about going home. He did it. It was all his fault. Damned Alexander Vesnetsov ruined everything for me. If it wasn't for him, I would've never even had to run from home.. But then again, I wouldn't had met Christian, and I could never regret meeting him.

  The thought of him gave me strength. It gave me the motivation I needed to start walking again. He insisted on dropping me off closer to the house, but I still made him stop around a mile away because we had to stick exactly to our plan if we wanted it to work. 

  And we couldn't risk being seen together before we were ready for that because we knew damn well that everyone would freak out, and my father would start a war without even blinking.

  I was tired of it. I was tired of having to hide what I felt for him. There were other bigger problems than my affair with Christian.. Affair.. That sounded too forbidden. Lovers sounded too cheesy too. We were simply in a secret relationship and I was ready to change that once and for all.

  As I walked towards the front porch, I watched the door opening, and the man I knew my whole life, the man that was once my biggest hero walking out.. My father.

  He was a large man. Very tall, very intimidating.. No matter his almost 6'7 foot height, I was never aware of his mountain posture until that moment when he rushed out and stopped frozen on the porch. The look at his face showed worry however, relief, and a harsh ache struck me in my chest by the thought of what he had probably went through thinking that I was kidnapped, while I-

  I released a sharp breath and slowed down my steps when my brothers walked right behind him. I had three very big intimidating men in my life that I loved deeply, but was never scared to oppose to them and compare, like I was just as strong.. Now the sight of them on the porch near the large Rome pillars made me realize just how intimidating my family must've seemed to others while growing up.. No wonder I never got a boyfriend.

  Everyone always said that I was closer to my father and it wasn't far from truth. I grew up with a bit younger brothers too, so I was used to the fights and wrestles with them while growing up, even though my mother insisted on me staying lady like and polite. She taught me how to smile, walk and please, while my father taught me how to fight.

  But I turned out fine, didn't I? Christian said he could never take my arguments seriously because I seemed too gentle, but the picture of my family now made me think how it was possible for me to turn out even slightly feminine. I fought with these men my whole life. I thought I was invincible after that. Turns out, not so much.